Can I do this??

Hi everyone! I have been a "stalker" of this page for about 6 months now. I find it very informative and have gotten alot of questions answered just by browsing through the threads. I have just started my first clinical rotation (last week) and I just have a question. Over the years, I have had many experiences with hospice with my grandmother and a few aunts being sick. These experiences are what made me want to get into nursing, specifically hospice nursing. I have worked as a HHA for the MRDD community for many years, and finally last year decided it was time to take the next step towards a nursing career. Now, as I said before, my clinicals started last week. The first 2 days I just followed a CNA around and got the feel of everything. Today they let us start shadowing a nurse which was very exciting for me! I think I learned more in 1 day than I have in a whole year of class room time.. Well, my nurse was talking with a patient who has recently learned that he is dying of cancer, and during their coversation, it took everything I had not to cry.. My heart was breaking for this poor man, and I just felt so sad for him! So my question is this; Am I cut out for hospice nursing? I have heard that having empathy is a good quality in a nurse, but now I am worried that I will just be a sobbing mess everytime someone is sad. Am I wrong? Does everyone feel this way starting out? Does it get easier after a while? I NEVER want to lose the compassion I have for people and their families during times like these, but I really hope it will get easier!
Thank you!
As awful as this might sound, after a while you become mostly immune. You develop a professional wall. That's a GOOD thing. Otherwise, you would develop an ulcer and burn out after two years. That doesn't mean you lose your compassion, though.When I first started, I cried at every birth. That lasted probably about 2 months. Now I cry at maybe every 20th birth, ones that are especially touching or with which I really bonded a lot with the parents.

After a while you develop better coping mechanisms. You don't ever become "immune" you just deal with it better.

You will always feel your patients' pain in nursing. If you don't, you are burnt out and need to switch fields. But you learn how to help, and that makes you concentrate on the satisfaction of nursing rather than the downside. Don't worry; you sound like just the kind of person we need in hospice nursing.

Someone once said to me that it is ok to get emotional, as long as you don't go overboard so that the patients/families need to comfort YOU, you are there to comfort THEM.