Getting a reference from nurse manager

I actually posted this in Nursing Career Advice forum, but no response so far. So I will post this here again. Hope this is ok.:wink2:

I just have a question regarding references when applying for a new job. Is it a 'must' to give my current nurse manager's contact info as a reference?

If I tell my manager that I am trying to change my job by asking her to give me a good reference, the manager would certainly be unhappy. In case I was unsuccessful and I needed to stay on my current job, my relationship with my manager would be kinda difficult.

So I don't think I will use my NM's name as a reference, but I am unsure how this will make the potential employer feel. Any ideas?
in my 5 yrs experience, some managers i have put down as references and jobs that i have worked, but if i have left on not-so-terms, i will not put the hospital or nurse manager down....it has only happened at one hospitalwell, that is my advice!!

Most applications have a space where you can mark whether or not it is OK to contact your current employer. Just mark "No" and state that you do not wish your current employer to know that you are job hunting. It should not be a problem.

I have found that even if you mark the "do not contact" box, sometimes potential employers (or others in the loop) will call your current employer, supervisor. They may not have legitimate reasons to be calling. I found this out only because one of the persons who was called to engage in a discussion about me gave me a hint that the call had been made. You have to be careful about what you put down, when you jobhunt, being courteous in letting your current supervisors know that you have put your resume out there. You can tell them without saying anything you don't want to disclose. At any rate, the point I want to make in this post, is that I have found that when I was applying for jobs, sometimes the people that you write down; whether you are supplying references or just listing the names of your supervisors, are literally not there or are reported as not being there anymore. That is something that is totally beyond your control. Everybody has the right to change jobs when they want. Unless you are personal friends with a reference, you have no idea where supervisors go or when they leave their position. For that matter, I have had the offices of employers change addresses. I just put down the info as it was when it pertained to me. I can't keep up with things after I have left. I got hurt at one potential employer, b/c they took a very negative attitude about calling a former employer and finding out that the names I listed "weren't there". I later found out that they had been given misinformation on purpose. So now, in order to cover myself, I am putting the last date of my contact with the supervisor/reference on my employment application. I only wish that I could keep up with people. It's not funny getting in the "do not consider" pile of resumes just b/c somebody wants to lie or be negative on the phone. Good luck in what you are doing. Do not feel bad about looking for a new opportunity. Your supervisor should understand that everyone needs to progress at some point. I hope she does not hold anything against you.

A common way to handle this situation is to ask the potential new employer not to contact your current employer until the very last stages of your negotiations with them. Explain to them that you are afraid that your relationship with your current employer might be damaged if they found out about your job search and you don't want to risk that until it looks pretty sure that you will be leaving there. Assure them that it will be fine to contact your current employer before they (and you) make a final committment, but just delay it until it looks pretty certain that you will be offered (and accepting) the new job.

I am in this situation right now. I listened to other Nurse Managers and went and spoke to my Nurse Manager about needing a benefited position and wanted to look at other options. She told me to my face that she was fine with it. Of course this was a PRN position so I was cancelled the last two shifts and not put on the scheudule. So I have a job but no income...how convenient. Never again will I be honest and say anything.

Quote from MochaRN424I am in this situation right now. I listened to other Nurse Managers and went and spoke to my Nurse Manager about needing a benefited position and wanted to look at other options. She told me to my face that she was fine with it. Of course this was a PRN position so I was cancelled the last two shifts and not put on the scheudule. So I have a job but no income...how convenient. Never again will I be honest and say anything.

Dear caliotter3: Thank you....any suggestions when it comes to a new position wanting to speak with the Nurse Manager? I was told by someone in HR that I can have them contact her because of the situation. Thank you.