How do you do it?

2 How do you handle your 2nd shift job? You know, your household. I recently returned back to work after being a SAHM for 2 years. I am trying to get back in the groove of things, but the laundry is piling up, I'm ordering out more, I'm just plain exhausted! I work 5 days a week (8hr days). I have to be at work at 5:30am every morning. When I get home I'm beat! I'm doing my best, but I'm falling behind. I keep saying I will throw something in the crockpot before I leave but that never happens. When I get home, I just want to relax. Between helping the kids with their homework and doing my own (online BSN) where is the time? My husband hasn't gotten use to me working either, he is expecting everything to just be the way it was when I was at home. I'm not superwoman, but so many women juggle it with ease. How do you do it all? How do you organize your after work hours/days? What's your secret? Last edit by Mrs. SnowStormRN on Oct 2, '11
No offense, tell your husband to do a little more. Or don't expect dinner or clean clothes on a regular basis. You shouldn't have to be superwoman.

I dont have a husband and kids but I work two jobs and yes at times things fall apart, like when i get a day off I really dont want to spend it doing household chores and shopping. I'd rather relax do my hobbies and spend time with friends. I work a combination of morning and afternoon shifts. That way when I am on an afternoon shift, I spend the morning doing the boring household stuff so I dont have to do it on my days off.Sometimes I cook meals in advance and freeze then or live on frozen meals. For you, cooking in advance would be a better option. Making double of something and freezing half for the following week could be an idea.I remember when I was a kid and both my parents worked. I'd come home and have to cook/heat up dinner (i think thats where I got my hatred of cooking from!) and saturdays were cleaning days. The whole house...urgh. It was just damn awful and I would hate to live like that. I guess thats why I remain single. I dont really have any suggestions apart from advance cooking, but another one to make the hubby relaise you work is doing shift work or failing that, can you afford to work 4 days a week instead and set aside that fifth day for household crap. Also, I think you may need to explain to hubby he needs to pull his weight. I gather he works too but he does contribute to the mess so really should be able to do some of the chores. Maybe leave him a list of stuff to do?

Heh. DH thinks he helps. Heh. Heh. WOOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Luckily, we have no children at home.Can you nap for an hour before the kids get hoe?

Nobody juggles it with ease, I don't care what they say.. put the stuff in the crockpot the night before.. then put it in the refrigerator. Load the coffee pot the night before, so you only need to turn it on... The hubby can help with stuff, make him a list... The kids can dust... As far as falling behind... you are in school, so dust bunnies are not a priority... If your kids are clean and fed, your house doesn't look like a "Hoarder's" house, and your dishes are done, (hubby's job,) that's enough for now.. Get help and support from your family, get your degree, then worry about being Suzy Homemaker...I used to make HUGE pots of soup and chili, pans of lasagna, then divide up and freeze... put your feet up when you get home, and recharge for a few... You are a mother and wife, but "maid" is not the definition of you... Love and laughter, doing well in school and just being with your family is more important right now than a magazine picture house... Take care, all the best...

Quote from Mrs. SnowStormRNHow do you handle your 2nd shift job? You know, your household. I recently returned back to work after being a SAHM for 2 years. I am trying to get back in the groove of things, but the laundry is piling up, I'm ordering out more, I'm just plain exhausted! I work 5 days a week (8hr days). I have to be at work at 5:30am every morning. When I get home I'm beat! I'm doing my best, but I'm falling behind. I keep saying I will throw something in the crockpot before I leave but that never happens. When I get home, I just want to relax. Between helping the kids with their homework and doing my own (online BSN) where is the time? My husband hasn't gotten use to me working either, he is expecting everything to just be the way they were when I was at home. I'm not superwoman, but so many women juggle it with ease. How do you do it all? How do you organize your after work hours/days? What's your secret?

Thanks for all the great advice. Yes, my husband does occasionally help out (well he thinks he is helping, LoL). The list sounds great! I will try to do the crockpot thing and freezing meals. It just seems so easy for some people. I just think, how in the helens cabinet do they do it.

School on top of it is a killer. I did my BSN online and I worked, studied, dropped, and lived with a filthy house for a year. But live through it. The degree opens a lot of doors.

Quote from SuesquatchRNSchool on top of it is a killer. I did my BSN online and I worked, studied, dropped, and lived with a filthy house for a year. But live through it. The degree opens a lot of doors.

Put your foot down with the husband...he has to help you. Period. If your kids are old enough, assign them chores.Don't expect perfection from anyone, especially yourself.

I work 16 hour shifts. On these days, I do not cook. If I DO cook, it will be some crockpot shennanigans, that may or may not be overcooked.I come home, I go to sleep for a couple of hours, and then I get up and go to work again. The boyfriend has -finally- figured out that he should just bite the bullet and fend for himself those few days.A huge help is my little sister, who is a teen, and still lives with my parents. We live close, and I pay her twenty bucks a week to come over on Friday, and do all the laundry, and vacuum a bit. It's a HUGE help. I like crockpot meals too... If I'm ambitious, I will put all the veggies and things I want in tuppeware ahead of time, so all I have to do is dump everything in the pot before leaving in the morning. And seriously, make your kids do chores. There's no reason they can't be helping out. Tell them it builds character or something.

Quote from Lynx25I work 16 hour shifts. On these days, I do not cook. If I DO cook, it will be some crockpot shennanigans, that may or may not be overcooked.I come home, I go to sleep for a couple of hours, and then I get up and go to work again. The boyfriend has -finally- figured out that he should just bite the bullet and fend for himself those few days.A huge help is my little sister, who is a teen, and still lives with my parents. We live close, and I pay her twenty bucks a week to come over on Friday, and do all the laundry, and vacuum a bit. It's a HUGE help. I like crockpot meals too... If I'm ambitious, I will put all the veggies and things I want in tuppeware ahead of time, so all I have to do is dump everything in the pot before leaving in the morning. And seriously, make your kids do chores. There's no reason they can't be helping out. Tell them it builds character or something.

I won't tell you what to do, I'll just tell you what I do.#1, I have help. I'd suggest hiring as much help as you can reasonably afford. Even if it is only someone coming in once a week to scrub toilets, lol, it's better than nothing. So, start with your least favorite or hardest to handle chore and hire it out. If you are on a tight budget and can't afford a professional, hire a kid to do it. One of your own, or a college kid desperate for money, lol. One year I got my gutters cleaned by of bunch a frat kids desperate for Spring Break funds.#2) Prioritize, every day. Today I will accomplish a, b and c for sure. x and y are "hopefully," z is "possibly" if all the stars align and the moon is in the right phase, etc. Otherwise z will move up to y position tomorrow, etc.3#) Share the joy. Everyone in this household has responsibilities. Make sure they all know what they are and hold them accountable. People (old enough) who don't do their own laundry or get up early enough to eat breakfast go to school hungry and in dirty uniforms. I could give a sheet, lol. I'm going to be neither dirty nor hungry. People who don't maintain tidy living quarters come home from camp and find everything they own has been thrown out (yes, this is true, ask my son). Kids who leave bikes, skateboards and sports equipment lying around where it doesn't belong put that equipment in the car on Saturday morning and accompany their mother to donate it to the Boys and Girls Club of America (you could ask that same son, or any of the others. They have all lost stuff this way). I could go on. The point is, my children are spoiled in may ways, but they are not coddled. They do their chores, they do their homework and get the grades we expect, they participate in the family unit, or they pay logical consequences. I am no martyr.4) As far as meals go, it is really much easier than many people make it out to be. We don't eat much that you could cook in a crock pot. We don't eat bread, potatoes, rice or pasta or any kind of gravy. We might cook lamb or chicken on the weekend, red meat is strictly for special occasion. We do NOT eat pork of any kind (not religious, it's just revolting). We generally eat fish most days of the week and fish doesn't do well in the crock pot. I usually get my fish fresh on my way home in the afternoon and I never know what's "fresh" until I get there. We either poach it, which takes mere minutes, or put it on the grill. When I am really in a hurry, I just get those deli fruit and veggie trays, lol. Buy some humus and toss that nasty dressing they put in there! Salad comes in a bag these days, and those frozen Bird's Eye veggie things that steam in the microwave are awesome. Sometimes we have couscous which cooks in 5 minutes. I might throw in some leftover fish, veggies, and toss it with a little olive oil. Stop worrying so much about dinner. Go to the butcher or fresh market or farmers market. Buy what looks good, take it home and enjoy with some fresh or frozen veggies. Dinner should be family time, not a major production that stresses you out. You will be healthier for it too!