Just found out my partner's dad is a DNR

1 My partner's family failed to tell me about the DNR status of their 82 year-old father until last week. He lives with us. He is pretty healthy but has recently been feeling some general malaise and weakness. The my partner's only sibling who is the healthcare POA stated he is absolutely a DNR, but she lives out of state. I am uncomfortable not having his advanced directives here at the home to reference to incase of an emergency. What do you suggest my fellow nurses? I am going to ask for my partner's sister to submit a letter to me stating that he is a DNR at the very least, since she is the healthcare POA. Do you think I am blowing this out of proportion? Please leave your feedback.
I don't think that it's unreasonable to ask. Since he lives with you two, that is something I would want to know and since it's such a serious topic I would want it in writing as well. Have your partner speak with sister about your concerns.

Does Dad want to be a DNR? Healthcare POA only kicks in if he is unable to make decisions.Otherwise it is entirely appropriate for you to have copies of the advanced directives, otherwise EMS would be forced to do everything when called; rather than comfort measures.

Well, from what I understand, if your partner's father would actually like to be a DNR, you'd better have paperwork or he will be Red since EMS has to assume he's actually like to live unless otherwise specified. Isn't that enough of a reason for the POA to give you what you need?

I'll dissent and say it's not your family and not your business. Butt out.

Agree - unless a copy of the valid DNR document is present with your partner's dad ... all resuscitative efforts will be attempted. You really don't need to pursue this with the out-of-state POA - just tell him that he will need to have a copy of the document with him where he resides.

You want to follow his wishes. He's living with you. Get a copy so he isn't unnecessarily tortured if anything does happen.

It would be the responsible thing to have copies of all legal paperwork. Since there is a stated preference, honoring that preference is pretty important. I disagree with the above poster who says this is none of your business. You are part caretaker for this individual since they live in your house and I find it commendable that honoring their wishes is important to you.So few people who come to our hospital are aware that having the paperwork is NOT enough, that it has to be supplied to the hospital with every admission. As you are aware, medical personnel have no way of knowing if it really exists or not if they have not seen it and no way of knowing whether it has changed since the last admission if it is not submitted each time.

Quote from BlueDevil,DNPI'll dissent and say it's not your family and not your business. Butt out.

Quote from not.done.yetIt would be the responsible thing to have copies of all legal paperwork. Since there is a stated preference, honoring that preference is pretty important. I disagree with the above poster who says this is none of your business. You are part caretaker for this individual since they live in your house and I find it commendable that honoring their wishes is important to you.So few people who come to our hospital are aware that having the paperwork is NOT enough, that it has to be supplied to the hospital with every admission. As you are aware, medical personnel have no way of knowing if it really exists or not if they have not seen it and no way of knowing whether it has changed since the last admission if it is not submitted each time.

First off, if he has not been judged incompetent, it is up to him if he is to be a DNR or not. So that convo needs to be had.And yes, you need a copy of the POAs stand on this issue.

Why don't you just talk to dad about it? It's his decision not someone out of state.

Wow, that's a really terrible thing to say Bluedevil My partner and I are both nurses and we are also caregivers for her grandfather. Code status was one of the first discussions we had with the entire family.