What is our job description anyway?

21 I came across some job descriptions on nursing job postings say things like
"provide quality care to patients and their families"
"Use the nursing process of assessment, diagnosis, outcome identification, planning, implementation, and evaluation"
"Collaborate with physicians and other healthcare members"

How does this even begin to encompass what we do??

If I had to write a nurse's job description, it would include: educator (to willing listeners and brick walls), babysitter (both adult and child), therapist, waitress, transporter, diaper-changer, medication dispenser, advocate, comedian, plebotomist, actor.

Job Responsibilities include lots of talking, listening, sympathizing and empathizing, hand-holding, butt wiping, wound cleaning and dressing, blood drawing, IV starting, providing food, withholding food, physically and chemically restraining, foley-ing, suctioning, administering meds PO, PR, IV, IO or via G-tube, rear-end kissing of patients, families, and co-workers, real smiling, fake smiling, inner eye-rolling, laughing, sometimes crying, assessing, documenting, running, walking, rarely sitting, barely eating, turning and positioning, vital signs monitoring, EKG rhythm monitoring, call bell answering, toileting, ambulating, ventilating, chest compressing, cooling, warming, hydrating, diuresing.

Applicants most also have the ability to identify the following odors:
C-diff
Melena
Raging UTI
Homelessness
Alcohol intoxication
DKA
Feet
Body odor/lack of personal hygiene
Vomit
Halitosis
Rotting flesh

The faint of heart need not apply.
Thanks for that, I needed it today!

ahh Happy Friday!!!

Good old ADPIE! The only time I have seen it since school is in job descriptions!

Job descriptions should never be confused with the actual job assignment, in nursing or anywhere else for that matter. I'm pretty convinced that job descriptions are written as broadly as possible so HR folks don't have to trouble themselves with writing accurate ones for the many different kinds of positions, or having to update them more than once every century or so.

Quote from R!XTERI came across some job descriptions on nursing job postings say things like"provide quality care to patients and their families""Use the nursing process of assessment, diagnosis, outcome identification, planning, implementation, and evaluation""Collaborate with physicians and other healthcare members"How does this even begin to encompass what we do??If I had to write a nurse's job description, it would include: educator (to willing listeners and brick walls), babysitter (both adult and child), therapist, waitress, transporter, diaper-changer, medication dispenser, advocate, comedian, plebotomist, actor.Job Responsibilities include lots of talking, listening, sympathizing and empathizing, hand-holding, butt wiping, wound cleaning and dressing, blood drawing, IV starting, providing food, withholding food, physically and chemically restraining, foley-ing, suctioning, administering meds PO, PR, IV, IO or via G-tube, rear-end kissing of patients, families, and co-workers, real smiling, fake smiling, inner eye-rolling, laughing, sometimes crying, assessing, documenting, running, walking, rarely sitting, barely eating, turning and positioning, vital signs monitoring, EKG rhythm monitoring, call bell answering, toileting, ambulating, ventilating, chest compressing, cooling, warming, hydrating, diuresing.Applicants most also have the ability to identify the following odors:C-diffMelenaRaging UTIHomelessnessAlcohol intoxicationDKAFeetBody odor/lack of personal hygieneVomitHalitosisRotting fleshThe faint of heart need not apply.

I had a nursing professor who said the thing that separates nursing from other health professions is that we take care of "the whole patient". I couldn't disagree more. I think it's every health professional's responsibility to address more than just the physical needs of their patients. I think what does make nursing unique is that we are "care coordinators" in that we not only provide direct assessment and care but we also assess for the need for, and provide for, and coordinate, and bridge the gaps BETWEEN various disciplines of care ie PT, respiratory, psych, SW, nutrition, radiology, MDs, and ourselves. We as nurses not only care for patients in our own right but also juggle all those and many more aspects of a patient's care both in and out of the hospital. Therefore I would say what nurses' jobs really are: Care Coordinators. Almost sounds like a better name for us...

Our job: Whatever nobody else wants to do....

Tidying the roomMopping the floorCleaning the toiletsMaking sure beds are perfectly centred under over-head lightDodging thrown objectsTolerating 360 degree abuse (verbal and physical)Holding urine for hoursOvercoming hypoglycaemiaAccepting blame without rebuttalAnger management (our own)Finding joy and self-worth despite constant degredation

Customer service represenativeQuality assurance coordinatorEnviromental Services EngineerMaster PlumberFamily Centered Care ConsultantHygiene TherapistRefereeCoachCrisis Intervention SpecialistI wonder if there's differential to be made in any of these sub-categories? Wait, I will ask the most ironic of the unit--the "Nurse" Manager

Finder of TV channels! For sure!

Quote from WeepingAngelFinder of TV channels! For sure!

Somehow a lot of patients' families seem to think my job description includes "physician control". They are genuinely surprised that I don't know were the MD is at all times when they come to visit and want an MD update immediately.