How hard is it to write a stinkin' recommendation letter

I feel like screaming!

So, I applied to summer nurse externship programs. I knew from the start that everything would be easy to get together but recommendation letters may be a problem. Not because I'm not worthy of getting one..but because I would have to depend on other people to write them. And I was right.

For one externship, there were 2 forms. I applied in November so I got my clinical instructor (Ms. CI) at the time (last semester) to fill it out and another non-clinical instructor to fill it out (Ms. J) . Cool. For the 2nd one, I haven't heard back from them yet but I applied to another program they have where they will pay for my schooling in exchange for me working for them. I needed 3 references and 2 recommendation letters. Got the references and 1 recommendation letter (from my new clinical instructor for this semester -- Ms. B). It was December, so I had asked my first clinical instructor (Ms. CI) for the 2nd recommendation letter for the program. She promised she would get one together and I believed her because she was able to do the 1st one so quickly. Not.

So, here it is THREE months later and I'm still waiting. Thankfully, the coordinator of the program stated that it was no rush because they didn't start reviewing the applications until early spring. But, now, it IS early spring! I also have an externship interview next Monday (the 15th for a 3rd externship), and I need 2 recommendation letters. I still have my current clinical instructor's letter -- Ms. B. But, I need another letter!

So, I am going crazy. I emailed, called and talked in person for Ms. CI to get me a recommendation letter and she has failed so I have given up on her. I spoke with my manager (I'm a nursing assistant part-time) to see if she could write me a recommendation letter but she was like "What am I suppose to put in to it?" HUH?? You're a manager over 3 units and a regular floor..how do you NOT know what to put in the letter? So, I'm a little shaky on her. I emailed Ms. J (my non-clinical instructor) to write a letter but that letter would only be good for the interview. I would STILL need another letter for the program at the hospital because since I put her down as a reference, I can't have her writing a letter -- go figure. I haven't heard back or seen Ms. J yet, which is weird. I've gotten so desperate that I emailed my former boss at my corporate America law firm job (the job I had before I left for nursing school). She's actually at a conference but she said that although she hopes I get a letter from someone from school since it would probably be more relevant than her letter, that she would email me an unsigned letter of recommendation.

So, what should I do? I've given up on Ms. CI. I hope Ms. J gets back to me. I won't be back at the hospital until Friday but I may try to run up there to the hospital to see if I can get my manager to write a letter (as well as bring a sample letter so she can see what goes in a letter!). Would a letter from my former boss in corporate America be relevant? Or should I just email the interviewer and tell them I haven't been able to secure a second letter?

What would YOU do?

Thanks in advance!
I've had success with asking with at least a month in advance and giving a deadline. I also ask for a copy of the letter, and I give the person writing a list of things I am proud of, some notable things I have done or am doing. I write them a letter telling them why I have chosen them, things that I admire them, and what I have learned from them. When I ask for the letter (in person), I ask them if they truly feel that they can write me a GOOD letter of recommendation, and I say it like that, emphasizing the GOOD. Sometimes I go as far as to say that I understand if they might not feel like they can honestly write a good one and to let me know how they feel. That has worked for me, so far. If I haven't heard back after two and a half weeks, I find them in person. That sucks that you're having a hard time. I hope that there's something I do that you can use and good luck getting a great one!

Some of us have "poop" phobia, others "blood" phobia, and others still, "writing phobia.Do the best you can but give up on that person. If you can't find a nursing instructor that you knew, go with the former boss. Sometimes if you ask an instructor that did not even know you well they'll still write one as they can review your grades and ask around.Sadly, these days, few nursing instructors/professors know how to write well.Good luck.

Quote from EwwThat'sNastySadly, these days, few nursing instructors/professors know how to write well.

Thanks for the responses! There is nothing else I can do for Ms. CI..forget asking a month in response..I asked THREE months in response and given her numerous deadlines. This externship, I didn't know we needed 2 recommendation letters until yesterday (and I would have had 2 if Ms. CI had written one when she said she was) so now it's down to the wire and not even my fault. Also, I failed to mention this earlier but I'm not the only one waiting for her to write a letter. She mentioned to me (one of the times I saw her in PERSON), that she had a FEW letters to write. She's a nursing instructor..she gets these requests all the time..this is nothing new to her. I don't need you to write an thesis..I just need you to write how clinically sound I am and about my personality. There are samples all over the web...copy one, twist it to be relevant to me and call it a day. Ms. B (my current clinical instructor) -- the day I asked her, she gave it to me. I suspect it was a form letter where she just inserted my name in (but also twisted it some bc she included info related specifically to me) but even that is cool. Have a form letter and insert name here. Even worse, my school has a form for JUST THIS THING -- nurse externships. You check some boxes, write additional sentences and that's it! I told Ms. CI about this form letter and where she could get it from NUMEROUS times (we students don't have access to it). There is no excuse in my opinion.I think I'm going to make a decision tomorrow. Just get my former boss to write a general letter just for the interview on Monday and work with my manager on writing a general recommendation letter. I may just write it and have her sign since she has no idea what to write!Just pathetic in my opinion.

Quote from MoogieThat is downright depressing. I was a freelance writer for eight years and am in a graduate program for nursing education. I try very hard to write well and be articulate, at least in written communication. I hope my future students will appreciate their well-written letters of recommendation someday. Warning to future nursing students: someday Moogie the Grammar Freak may be grading your care plans so make sure your spelling and punctuation are correct!

Sadly, these days, few nursing instructors/professors know how to write well.

Quote from MoogieThat is downright depressing. I was a freelance writer for eight years and am in a graduate program for nursing education. I try very hard to write well and be articulate, at least in written communication. I hope my future students will appreciate their well-written letters of recommendation someday. Warning to future nursing students: someday Moogie the Grammar Freak may be grading your care plans so make sure your spelling and punctuation are correct!

Ask one of the RNs that you work with.

Quote from Heloisea3This is so true. When I graduated from nursing school last May, I asked one of my clinical instructors for a letter of recommendation. It took several months and a few reminders before I was able to get a letter from her. When I finally got it, she had put my name in the first paragraph and another student's name in the second paragraph. I pointed it out to her and asked as politely as possible if she could rewrite it with just my name in it. Finally, a few weeks later, she gave me another recommendation letter, but that one looked like a middle school student had written it. There were multiple spelling and grammar mistakes, so I never used the letter. I would have been too embarrassed to give it to anyone. Needless to say, I gave up on getting a letter from her. Other students who requested a letter of recommendation from her found themselves in the same boat. Sad, sad, sad!

Quote from MulanAsk one of the RNs that you work with.

Quote from caliotter3It would be better just to decline stating, "Sorry, but I do not furnish reference letters", instead of doing this to students.

I agree Moogie, I just decided not the use the phrase "passive aggressive" in my post. It jumped out at me that this is what the instructor was doing. Kind of mean spirited, if you ask me, and not very adult.