Please I need advice..Please

hi there and thanks for reading this! here's what's going on, i'll try to stick to the point. lol

i'm currently an unemployed ncma/ncpt (national certified medical assistant and national certified phlebotomy technician) and i would love to become a nurse!! i feel like i was put on this earth to reach out to people that are hurting and let them know, even in a small way, that someone actually cares for them. so many people are hurting and i want to make a difference!! my heart is in the right place now i need some direction on how to go about doing this. i now have the opportunity to go to nursing school but i have something that could potentially hole me back, it makes me so sad i could cry, please some advice would be soooo appreciated right now. =((

1. i get severe nausea and dry heves when i smell feces and am looking straight at it. does anyone have any advice on how to get around/past this please?

2. i am, as much as i don't want this personality trait, soft hearted to a certain degree. i left my other job after 6 years in a doctor's office (internal medicine) due to office politics: manager not doing their job; upper manager thinks manager is doing it and doesn't see a problem; being backstabbed and blamed for things when i did not do them by other medical assistants and no one listens when i speak up about it; doctor i worked for treats me like i'm stupid and worthless: me being on the "do not hire" list because of lies that came from coworkers and managers at this place now. with all these things here, as much as i loved the patients, i had to leave, i was beginning to believe the doctor was right and i was almost thinking of suicide. thank god my family noticed this (since i isolated myself and was a workaholic, first one there, last one to leave) and now i'm much better lol. i am not crazy i hope you guys don't think i am!! lol main question is, how do i become a person that can handle all that and still work in that environment? i found i had to leave in this example above.

i loved what i did soooo much, i love the patients (ages from 40-105), i loved how i could bring a smile on there face, i love my fellow man/woman, i want to help!!!!! i feel so lost now, since i'm blacklisted, i truely believe from this past company, which shares info with a lot of other companies. i feel so lost i thought this was what god wanted me to do. sincerely please, any advice would be helpful! how do i change who i am so i can go into nursing, so that i can survive the sharks and touch human kind with love????

lost and very sad,
me
This post can be closed. LOL I posted it in another forum, sry. lol