How To Spot a Workplace Bully Part Three

This is an outstanding series of articles. Thank you! Well done.

Great reference articles for people struggling with this. Good series.

The sentence that struck me is this:Part of the difficulty with making a bullying complaint stick is that the pieces of the puzzle seem innocuous or even petty when looked at individually.

The target can look like a whiny crybaby unless the investigator takes the pattern of behavior into account. When a complaint is about bullying, it's essential to look at the big picture.

Getting the he** out of here now. The supervisor is indeed the bully and while it seemed paranoid at the time, I made notes regarding what and when. What to do with this information? Not much. However- manager is aware, is bullied herself it would seem and has become tainted by the situation and is of no use when it comes to fixing the situation. She has encouraged me to leave. I might have wanted to stay, but the 10 years the bully has dedicated to the cause in this office have tainted the whole place and nobody is particularly untouched. This office has become poisoned. Everyone is just happy its not their turn today/this week/this month. Identifying someone new for her to bother is self preservation and a team sport. I look forward to leaving quickly, with whatever reference I have. With no serious reports of misconduct (unless you count just not being her best friend, and not handing out trophies for simply showing up to baby clinic), I am well prepared. What to do with the experience? The take-away message? Pick better lottery numbers.

These articles really resonate, Miranda. It's a particularly difficult row to hoe when the bully is in a position of power over the target, and has the ability to block any attempt by the target to either address or escape the bullying. How does one convey the substance of bullying behaviour when it's typically a hatchet disguised as praise? An example would be saying one thing in the presence of others, then doing the opposite in private, such as building the target up in the estimation of coworkers but then holding the target back from achieving the very thing the bully has intimated the target is capable of. Or conversely, the target may be put in a position where proving their abilities is undermined by inadequate supports and subliminal constraints and the target loses ground by seeming to be unequal to the task. Thank you for placing a spotlight on this unforgivable and unconscionable behaviour. Your efforts may allow more targets to recognize themselves as such and find their way out of that role.

Quote from janfrnThese articles really resonate, Miranda. It's a particularly difficult row to hoe when the bully is in a position of power over the target, and has the ability to block any attempt by the target to either address or escape the bullying. How does one convey the substance of bullying behaviour when it's typically a hatchet disguised as praise? An example would be saying one thing in the presence of others, then doing the opposite in private, such as building the target up in the estimation of coworkers but then holding the target back from achieving the very thing the bully has intimated the target is capable of. Or conversely, the target may be put in a position where proving their abilities is undermined by inadequate supports and subliminal constraints and the target loses ground by seeming to be unequal to the task. Thank you for placing a spotlight on this unforgivable and unconscionable behaviour. Your efforts may allow more targets to recognize themselves as such and find their way out of that role.

I have found the articles very helpful in making me realize I am not "paranoid" and my complaints are not petty. My current nurse manager is SO threatened by my confidence and my ability. She can never "get me" on my patient care so she has targeted me by saying "people" have called me rude (other colleagues) or "you don't seem very happy" etc. All little vague accusations that at times take their toll. The "problem" with me though is I refuse to be her victim. I stand up to her any way I can, I challenge her vague complaints and I am just waiting for my next evaluation. I am possibly thinking of attaching a copy of the bullying articles for her review.