What do I do here?

1 I loved nursing school. I got good grades, was class president, worked as a student tech at a local hospital. I spent years struggling with infertility before starting nursing school (second career), and of course, got pregnant in my last year. Beautiful, healthy baby was born the night before my last final. I took my final a few months later and NCLEX over a year after that. We have been able to make it work for me to stay home with my baby for the past year beyond that-so I haven't worked in the 2.5 years synced my last nursing school class. Fast forward to a couple months ago when a friend from nursing school calls and says she thinks she has a perfect job for me. 5 mins from my house, 2-3 6 hour shifts a week while my baby sleeps, home health (I never wanted that), Peds. I resist based on lack of experience-client is high acuity. She presses and explains that she thinks I'll be great, and the parents are home while I'm there so I'll always have back up. It seems like a good move from a resume standpoint since I would then have experience when I began to look for a more full time job when my baby is older. I take it. I hate it. Really hate it. I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. Orientation was less than 2 full days and mostly about compliance. I asked for a couple of shifts shadowing the other night nurses but that was denied based on reimbursement policies for this client. I feel like I can't quit bc my friend vouched for me with her boss, and I toldy boss in the interview that if I was offered/accepted the job that I wasn't looking for anything else. And I wasn't. But I HATE it. Is this going to get better? I got another offer for a non clinical job that I applied for months ago with better pay but less convenience. Should I risk burning bridges with my friend and this company and leave or wait it out, get a years experience under my belt and then go anywhere else?
I was a new grad starting home health as well. 2 days of orientation. Scared as all get out my first night alone. It got better though and I'm still here 1 1/2 years later.

Hmm, I think I work for that company too Do you hate it because you feel so unprepared? If you felt more confident, do you think you'd have more job satisfaction? Almost every 'new' nurse I've ever talked to feels like you do in that first year of working it is grueling and your lack of experience weighs on your conscience, it's a hard taskmaster!Hey, if I HATED a job, I'd feel just like you, a bit guilty for all the friend's effort but dang honey, life is too short. In nursing, you can almost have it any way you want it. You can have flexibility and low-er pay (private duty, home health) or make lotsa money in acute care doing shift work. But if I HATED it, I'd apologize to my friend and the manager and see-ya-later-bye. Life is too short. Did I already say that? Any job you take right now is going to be HARD, is going to tax you emotionally. I'd hate for you to get your hopes up that a new job will be the opposite of what you are experiencing NOW. Anxiety will be high for that first year, it's part of getting acculturated into nursing. If the new job looks like it will meet most of your needs, go for it. Don't worry about it, this is your life and your career.

Quote from GooseladyHey, if I HATED a job, I'd feel just like you, a bit guilty for all the friend's effort but dang honey, life is too short. In nursing, you can almost have it any way you want it. You can have flexibility and low-er pay (private duty, home health) or make lotsa money in acute care doing shift work. But if I HATED it, I'd apologize to my friend and the manager and see-ya-later-bye. Life is too short. Did I already say that?

If they won't let you shadow another nurse, you don't have anything to feel guilty about.And if you want to stay for the experience, you can make a shadow shift a condition.