attn working mamas.

1 Hey everyone.

So, I had a baby this past summer. I was working dayshift 40 hr/wk (5 8-hr shifts) plus a prn job. I had all intentions to go back to working my full time job.... until I laid eyes on my sweet baby. I have always wanted to work (I'm the "I don't need a man to support me" kind of gal). Daycare isn't even an option for us. I refuse...

Well, now I am working nights part time -2 nights a week.. but it's getting hard on my body (compared to when I used to work nights). I work nights to avoid having to arrange childcare. Plus, they're only babies once... and I want to spend as much time as possible with my baby.

were financially stable but we've had to cut out a lot of our extra spending (which is hard) Plus we want to purchase a home within the near future (which won't be happening with our current income. Also, hubby is carrying insurance on me and baby but it's very expensive.

I have the opportunity to go to dayshift full time. One job offers 7a-7p 3x/wk(with every other wknd)...or... 8a-3p 5x/wk (off weekends)... Or I could continue doing night shift and pick up an extra shift here and there to help cover my insurance cost.

What advise do you working mamas have? Would you saythat it was easier leaving your baby in the daytime once they got to a certain age? Do yall feel like you miss a lot by working dayshift? Does it better your bond by being away from baby in the daytime? Any advise is greatly appreciated

Thanks... and sorry for writing a novel
The pediatrician wil tell you that the best thing that you can do for your baby's health and minimize exposure to disease is to keep him out of daycare for the first three years of life.Work weekend option so that your husband can take care of the baby then and enjoy being a sahm during the week.

I did work per diem weekend days when my kids were younger. It gave their dad a chance to spend a lot of time with the kids and do some real "childcare" as opposed to "babysitting". We avoided daycare costs and the weekend differential and per diem pay rates made a bigger impact financially than a full time rate. Luckily the cost of health insurance is quite reasonable with my husband's company. The drawback is that time together as a family on weekends is limited if someone works every day of the week. You won't find us taking a lot of weekend trips as a family, but we have made the schedule work for us.

No, it will not improve your bond to be away from your baby; neither will it lessen it.I agree with others that I would try to do something to minimize exposure to childcare, assuming it is feasible and doesn't take a toll on your physical and mental health (for example, working every other night, then staying up all day the next day to care for the baby - bad idea!). Given the option of 3 shifts vs. 5 shifts, I would choose 3, for a couple reasons. First, because it means you have 4 full uninterrupted days with your baby. And second, because it will result in your husband spending more solo parenting time with your baby (I assume he works a 8-5 job, which means he will need to do solo parenting in the evenings when you work until 7:30pm, as well as those weekends you will have to work). Good luck, whatever you decide!

I work all of the time and am in school. My husband is a SHD. It works great for us. Sure I feel like I miss some of her growing up, but for me it is all about quality time. I "talk" to her when I can during the day, he takes lots of videos/pictures, etc. I would rather miss some of the fun and keep her safe at home with Dad. It's tough some days, but it works for us. You just have to find out what works best for you guys. I would rather work 3-12hr shifts, but that's me.

I've found that when working nights you are really "working" the day shift after that as well (since you are sleeping). I think I'm away from my kids more since I work nights. If you work days, at least on your days off you will be awake...

I got to stay home with my last and I wouldn't relish leaving an infant, but as soon as baby turns toddler/pre schooler they can thrive in a good preschool type daycare. And while I get the theory of child always being home with one parent or the other, that's not much family time. If you work 8-3p and your husband works a similar schedule, that's every afternoon/dinner/bedtime and weekends (holidays?) together. There's a lot of good that comes from a child being their parents together during those times with lots of social and learning experiences during the day. I started my 2 1/2 yr old in a very nice preschool (not affluent, but great educated warm staff in a small country town) and it was he who kept stretching the days out longer, he wanted to stay til after nap time. 8-3 is long but it's not leaving them there 12 hrs.

Quote from kloneNo, it will not improve your bond to be away from your baby; neither will it lessen it.

I've always worked weekend nights since having kids. Daycare is minimized and I'm essentially a SAHM during the week.

I have a 10 week old and go back to work next week. I will be working two days a week. During the week I will be on nights and during the weekends I will work days. My husband works a 9-5. The baby will stay with my MIL from 1-6 while I sleep and from 10-2 the night after. I know my struggle will be being up with baby all day. Buy that's the sacrifice I have to make.

Quote from prnqdayI have a 10 week old and go back to work next week. I will be working two days a week. During the week I will be on nights and during the weekends I will work days. My husband works a 9-5. The baby will stay with my MIL from 1-6 while I sleep and from 10-2 the night after. I know my struggle will be being up with baby all day. Buy that's the sacrifice I have to make.

Quote from icuRNmaggieThe pediatrician wil tell you that the best thing that you can do for your baby's health and minimize exposure to disease is to keep him out of daycare for the first three years of life.Work weekend option so that your husband can take care of the baby then and enjoy being a sahm during the week.

Congratulations on the baby! I would avoid working FT if at all possible. I've done it and it's hugely stressful, and we didn't even use daycare; my MIL was/is our daycare. I've also worked 0.8 noc's and stayed up w/ the baby all day, and to be honest we both suffered. I started getting sick a couple of times a month, after a few months of sleeping 2-3 hours a day between shifts. I work 0.5 now and I feel like I have the best of both worlds.To be honest, for me it gets HARDER as they get older. Around age 3 they start with the "Mamaaaaa, don't goooooo!" that breaks your heart. And then when they start school they get busy with homework, activities, social calendar, heartaches... So I personally wouldn't stay home full-time unless we planned on being able to afford it long-term. Not everyone agrees with me, and I get the formative years are important, but for me I wouldn't want to HAVE to go back to work once the kids were in school.At one time I desperately wanted to SAH and at the time I felt like I was missing a ton. But actually the big missed firsts happened when I was at home. My oldest daughter smiled and laughed for the first time when I was in the shower. My MIL gave my 2nd child his first bites of food at the Thanksgiving dinner table as I was there, but she hadn't asked me and I didn't have my camera ready. Much more recently I missed my older kids' first choir concerts because their directors didn't inform us of the dates until after the schedule came out, and I wasn't able to find anyone to trade with. But that's kind of my own fault because I am working now by choice, and I chose to work 3-11. In my experience, going away didn't help improve the bond, but it didn't cause lasting negative effects either. I did stay home for a year following a lay-off when my 3rd was a baby; with my others I've worked FT, PT and per diem. There's really no difference in my relationship today between the one I SAH'ed with and the other four that I worked with. I also cosleep, babywear when they are little, and extended-breastfeed so I'm sure that helps with the bond.What about keeping your PRN job? That way you can keep your skills up and bring in some income, but you have more control over your work hours.