What about when it's your loved one who's sick?

How do you deal with a loved one who is either ill, or have found out they have a terminal disease?
I mean, as a nurse, you see people who may be dying everyday but what about when it's your grandpa or father?
The thing I really hate is that my dad smokes and even though I tell him what I see in people who've smoked for 30+ years, he doesn't stop - rather he CAN'T, is more fair to say. All I can think about when I see a pt with COPD is my dad! If he dies b/c of his habit, I will always feel guilt knowing how bad it is, and not being able to stop it.
I just feel that as a nursing student/future nurse, I should be able to help prevent illness and disease in my own family and I always feel a sense of guilt when someone is diagnosed with ____ whatever. I just feel like there is something that maybe I could have done to prevent or detect family members' illnesses.
What about you? Do you ever feel like you could have done something more?
Tough question my dad had polio as a very child. Now in his 60's the after effects are really affecting him. I hurt watching him hurt.

I do not do well with it to say the least. I worry and freak out and cry and I'm mean to people. Not good.

Quote from calljs15How do you deal with a loved one who is either ill, or have found out they have a terminal disease?I mean, as a nurse, you see people who may be dying everyday but what about when it's your grandpa or father?The thing I really hate is that my dad smokes and even though I tell him what I see in people who've smoked for 30+ years, he doesn't stop - rather he CAN'T, is more fair to say. All I can think about when I see a pt with COPD is my dad! If he dies b/c of his habit, I will always feel guilt knowing how bad it is, and not being able to stop it.I just feel that as a nursing student/future nurse, I should be able to help prevent illness and disease in my own family and I always feel a sense of guilt when someone is diagnosed with ____ whatever. I just feel like there is something that maybe I could have done to prevent or detect family members' illnesses.What about you? Do you ever feel like you could have done something more?

You cannot control others' habits, regardless of their relationship to you. There is no doubt that everyone over the age of six knows that tobacco is bad for you.There is only ONE thing in this entire universe that you can control - your attitude. Nothing else, no way, no how.We may be able to influence some things, but not control them.Take care, and best wishes!

In nursing it is called "non-compliance" and it is a very common and frustrating issue.Let go of the guilt.People know that smoking, binge drinking, poor diet and lack of exercise are not good for them. You can educate a person all you want, but people change when they want to change. Most do not.

In all honesty, you do not want me as a family member of a sick patient.Unless you've got as much experience as me and can catch as well as myself--yes, this is a little bit brash--you're gonna be very, very nervous. But if you're doing your work and you're on top of everything, you will never, ever know I am a nurse. Never. Once I catch you FB'ing or Tweeting away, be prepared for me.