OK ummm............well...........

42 I got out late from work today. Want to know why?


I'm going to tell you anyway:

End of the day, lots of things going on and its time to pass meds.

Pt. calls me in his room to ask me a question. Scene: Pt. standing at bedside, hand out with paper wadded up in it, face innocent and childlike, very casual mannerisms. Tells me: "I put this in my butt, and now when I poop there is a little blood."

OK

Ummmmm............

Well.................


Checked for rectal bleeding, nothing active. Inform attending and get the H/H order I want. Go through all the formal things (document etc) AND SPEND SOME TIME DOING PT EDUCATION ON WHY WE DON'T PUT FOREIGN OBJECTS IN OUR BUTTS.


Pt calls me in the room to ask me a question again. This time it is "I know I can't put things in my butt.............and I won't, but does my finger count?"

OK

Ummmm............

Well............

More education provided ON WHY WE DON'T PUT FOREIGN OBJECTS, INCLUDING OUR FINGER, IN OUR BUTTS.

Passing meds. I have gotten everything under control, everyone else if fine. Yes, I know I know, I am such an intolerant nurse. I saved this guys meds for last.

What does he say to me? That he want to take all his meds as suppositories. ALL of them.
uhhhh,ok....I have heard and seen some interesting things (work in corrections per-diem), but that is just too damn funny!

My response: OK, ummm............well........... Left me speechless.

OMG!!! Speechless!

gotta love these types.scenario...i can see it now.someone/anyone very agitated and tells pt to shove it up his a$$...to which pt responds, "GLADLY". did this pt have a psych dx?leslie

you're a saint. i'm afraid i would have laughed in his face. i'm laughing now!

wellll... we know he has a bum fetish... we had a pt put a bottle up his bum before... it was full and he had to had surgery to have his prolapsed rectum fixed... he said " i just like the way it felt" ewwwwwwww !!! your post made me laugh... lol

I can't help but laugh.

Erik, maybe you made it even more something he wants to do by educating him on why he shouldn't

Poor Erik. I'd say get the guy a colonoscopy, except he'd probably be like Bill Murray in "Little Shop of Horrors"

Last on the med pass, huh? And he wanted suppositories? When is the psych consult? Lucky you, having to educate this guy - as if he didn't alreadyknow!

ahahhaa OMG....sad to laugh ,but I just can't stop.

I keep giggling about this...I can just see taking a look at the "affected area" and going, "Sir, are you missing a pen, pencil, TV remote, fingernail scrub brush, and a small cat?"