Sometimes... do you hate your pts?

3 Taking my pre-reqs right now. Maybe it's just a series of unfortunate encounters, or time spent being treated like a dog in the food industry, I don't know... but I often find I have little faith in humanity. People can behave as if they are so entitled. They can be so rude and tactless and downright mean! Pardon me but I grew up in a family of kind people. I was taught to respect others and to put others before myself. By the way, although when I was very young we attended church, I didn't need a religion to teach me this! It's called being human and not just thinking of yourself. Funny, because I've found the church-going people in my town are often the biggest culprits of cruel and unkind behavior.

Anyway, I know part of what I can bring to my future patients (I'm a student) is providing care that comes from the heart. But I'm not going to lie, I think at times it will be a clinical, realistic approach I take with some. I'm going to care more about getting them healthy and doing what is necessary rather than if they like me or get all their "wants"... that is, if they decide to treat me like a steaming pile.

Do you ever feel this way? "Hate" was an extreme word to use in this title... but do you as nurses ever look at a pt. and think "my God you are a terrible person and I hate being your nurse!" I'm talking about the people that verbally abuse you and make your life harder when you're trying to make their's better. That's why I say I think sometimes it will be more clinical than warm and fuzzy with some pts. I'll always do my best as a caregiver, but if they're going to do everything short of spit in my face, I don't have the patience to be warm and friendly anymore, and I'm not going to easily forgive them in my heart. I'm gonna make sure everything in my role as a nurse is taken care of, then walk out of that room and try not to think about how much I loathe them for their hatefulness.

I don't think what I've said applies to senior citizens (nursing homes) so much because they're not always all their and they've got different circumstances. I'm talking about sane, young to middle age adults that should know better.

...Don't you just get so mad sometimes? Also: what can you do at your job in these situations? Will you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:
You're a professional.
You have other patients and you will get to them. Or
There's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?

Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.
Sometimes I like my patients.:spin:

I read your post and I totally understand where you are coming from. I will say that I have had the tables turned on me lately and back to back surgeries and have become a patient. One that was in a tremendous amount of pain because I threw up my pain meds so we couldn't stay on top of them. I was admitted to the hospital and writhing in pain. I wanted to die. I was throwing up by now because of the pain. I did not have the strength or patience or time to have manners. I needed help and urgently. When my pain subsided, I was a different person.Please try to put yourself in your patients shoes. They are scared, in pain, frustrated etc etc etc.....

Quote from scorpyanWill you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:You're a professional.You have other patients and you will get to them. OrThere's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.

Honey. People do not try to attack you. don't take it personally. It's ok to take one for the team sometimes. Working out helps to alleviate stress. I will say that before I became a nurse, I was in corp America. I have a Masters in Business, people are rude everywhere. People are under alot of pressure these days and under the gun. More pressure than we can handle. It's how you handle the situation. With class. That's how. You can do it just take a breath and think.... it's not about me. It's about them and they are not happy today. Pay it forward to kill em with kindness! You chose a caring industry. Maybe they are reacting to you??

Quote from Turd FergusonSometimes I like my patients.:spin:

We see people at their worst, and because of this, indeed sometimes I do lose faith in humanity. There have even been times that I've almost resented my patients but luckily I realized the issue lied with me and with having severe compassion fatigue and since then I've been able to take needed steps to help myself cope with the beast that nursing can be at times. Bottom line we're all human and we all can't be angels of mercy all the time, the best thing to do is to just try to work on your own attitudes and reactions to such behaviors and make sure that your patient's issues don't become your own.

Quote from scorpyan ...Don't you just get so mad sometimes? Also: what can you do at your job in these situations? Will you get in trouble if you kindly remind them:You're a professional.You have other patients and you will get to them. OrThere's no reason to talk to you that way and they should stop?Because I've only ever worked in the corporate service industry, and you are basically not allowed to reprimand a customer or ask for respect. You must always swallow your pride, eat your words, and apologize even if you've done nothing wrong.

Quote from kristinecrooksI read your post and I totally understand where you are coming from. I will say that I have had the tables turned on me lately and back to back surgeries and have become a patient. One that was in a tremendous amount of pain because I threw up my pain meds so we couldn't stay on top of them. I was admitted to the hospital and writhing in pain. I wanted to die. I was throwing up by now because of the pain. I did not have the strength or patience or time to have manners. I needed help and urgently. When my pain subsided, I was a different person.Please try to put yourself in your patients shoes. They are scared, in pain, frustrated etc etc etc.....

Quote from shhhhI've never allowed ANYONE to talk to me disrespectfully, so why should I allow it when I'm on the clock? If you give people an inch with their behavior, they will take a mile, so I'm all about sticking up for myself from the beginning, hopefully nipping rude behavior in the bud so it doesn't get out of hand.So, yes, I've reminded patients that I will not be spoken to that way. I've never gotten in trouble, and you shouldn't get in trouble for it! If you do, you don't want to work for a place that condones abusive behavior towards nurses.Well said, Mister Turd!

While I wouldn't say I hate some of my pts, I understand your frustration completely.I hate the behavior and it's much more tolerated in society.If you need to be more dry and clinical with some people than that's what you'll have to doto cope, you'll never really change their behavior and you're not there to make friends with them anyway.Just don't shut your compassion off for those pts that really need and deserve it. Believe me,they DO appreciate it. As for the observation that religious people can be the worst offenders, I've noticed that tooand I just don't know why that is.Some people are just a$$holes and they're the same people that go down the road and lash out atevery unfortunate service person they come in contact with. Don't wear their negativeness, brush it off and go on.

Sometimes I like my patients, but they have a day when they are driving me crazy and I don't want to be in their room.I have definitely had patients I couldn't stand (like the OHS pre-op who told me I had provided him with the best "fantasies" on my last morning signing off on him). Ugh I could have slapped him, and verbally did! There are people everywhere we won't get along with, when I get a patient like that I often do my best to manage whatever their most pressing need is, which is often pain medicine, and give them peace and quiet. If they run me too hard then I request they be rotated on my next shift.In the end everyone deserves good care, prompt medicines, and a chance to get better.

Yes. Rarely. One came to mind when I read this post. The one who told me that I should be cleaning the floors with "my people". I honestly KNOW I didn't do anything to him, he just hated me for the color of my skin. (<-I'm in the South where in some areas racism is alive and well. We aren't talking about an old guy, we are talking about a guy in his mid 30s.) I gave him my biggest smile and said "just remember when you need your pain medicine I will be cleaning the floor with my people." It was so bad that day, the CNA(lucky him, the CNA was also a person of color ) outright refused to see him. The only thing the manager said was that as a Nurse I should be able to handle the situation. -___- I also noticed she didn't step in there all day either. He threw a temper tantrum later that day. So, I gave him a time out. I firmly yet nicely with a big smile on my face said "well I can see you're upset but I am not going to stand here while you yell at me. I'm going to step out for 15 mins, when you calm down we will talk like the adults we are. If in 15mins, I come back and you are still acting this way I will leave again. Trust me, I can do this all day." He didn't believe I would do that, so when I went back the first time he started up again. I didn't say a word just turned around and walked right back out. The second time he behaved himself.Set limits but be nice about it. Be the bigger person and when its over just brush it off.I like using the creepy smile while I say something mean technique. it works for me and from what I heard its a really creepy I'm going to kill you and enjoy it smile. LOL