Patients "waiting to die"

I have a pt right now that has been actively dying for about 2 weeks now. I was super surprised when she lived through last weekend and she is still alive as I type. She has had her final religious blessings and she has seen all of her family. I have also been told that people "hang on" because they are in pain (she seems to be well-controlled) and sometimes they want to die alone so I tried to give her some time alone last night without abandoning her.

What are some other reasons you have experienced?
I also have a patient like this. She has been anuric for three weeks, unresponsive with respirations about 5-6/minute with morphine 15 mg/hr. I told her family to tell her it was okay for her to go. They did... but she's still here! I don't know what to tell them either!

Quote from mom4joshI also have a patient like this. She has been anuric for three weeks, unresponsive with respirations about 5-6/minute with morphine 15 mg/hr. I told her family to tell her it was okay for her to go. They did... but she's still here! I don't know what to tell them either!

In almost 40 years of nursing, I've never been able to pinpoint exactly when someone is going to die. In talking to families, I make the point that the process for us is just like waiting for a baby to be born ... you know it's going to happen, but just can't nail down when ... except that we have a lot more control over the timing of a birth than a death.It's simply not our timetable and a prime example of the limits of our control.

Some believe it is a personal journey we must go through; when she is ready, she will die on her terms.. Some hold on tooth and nail, others like my granddad waited until everyone came to see him and when the last person let, 5 minutes later he took his last breath..

Quote from RescueNinjaOmg how awful!! The night before last my pt was having periods of apnea > 60 seconds...I didn't even realize that was possible! Then last night she was breathing every 15-20 seconds. So sad! I wish there was something I could do to help her.

Quote from heronYou are helping her ... keeping her clean and comfortable while she goes home in her own time and her own way, supporting her family so that she knows they're ok and generally keeping the peace.

Quote from RescueNinjaI know I'm helping her deep down, but I just feel so helpless watching her lay there so lifeless. Sounds selfish, but it's terrible. Even though I think she looks comfortable and I'm giving her pain meds with every moan or grimace, I still feel like she's suffering.

Quote from heronIn what way?

The biochemical disease processes haven't become oppressive enough to halt the biochemical processes that sustain "life".

Quote from ScottEThe biochemical disease processes haven't become oppressive enough to halt the biochemical processes that sustain "life".

Quote from RescueNinjaI don't know... She just has this look on her face of pain, but not physical pain. I know I sound crazy, but I think she is trying hard to die, but something is keeping her here or her body isn't letting her.I don't know what's making me think this. I'm not religious, not really spiritual, have never thought anything like this before. Maybe it's stress and lack of sleep...

i had a pt that just wouldn't die.he was cool and mottled, in and out of consciousness...with persistent moaning.before he had lapsed to semi-consciousness, he had been screaming non-stop.med'l dir kept on raising his meds to outrageous amounts, yet still...licsw and i are going nuts, trying to figure out what was going on.long story short, he feared going to hell.after digging through his background, he had abandoned his children...and feared he was going to be punished.licsw tracked down his sister, who tracked down his oldest son.both sisters came to visit, who had a message to pt from oldest son...that sons were doing well, had good life, and all was forgiven.pt died that day...peacefully.a nurse needs to address all types of pain, and not just physiological.i believe mental/spiritual pain is just as paramount, and just as palpable.just something to consider.leslie