Advance my career or make my family happy?

I have two job offers: one is at a world-reknowned hospital in the ED and the other at a nice university hospital in medical telemetry. I worked for 2 years in telemetry as a new grad, but I always knew I wanted something more exciting and challenging, like ED or ICU. Eventually I'd like to go back to school for Acute Care NP.

Although the ED job is a dream come true, it will directly affect my family in a hard way. I have a young infant and a sweet though clueless husband (let's face it, he needs me). It will be very difficult for us because the job is for evening/nights rotating shifts, not to mention every other weekend and on-call. Much of the baby responsibilities will fall on my husband. If I take this job, I will be making it hard for him, my baby, and even my mom who has been outspoken against it from the beginning. *However*, I will have immense personal fulfillment in knowing that I am working in an area I've always wanted to and at one of the best hospitals in the world.

Or, I can work day shift in telemetry, and make everyone happy but me. Ok, that's not entirely true---if my family is happy then I'm happy, and also I hated working nights. But it's just a so-so job. It's not a wow-zer on my resume for when I want to go back to school. It pays a lot less too.

Please tell me what to do.
You've said how your mother feels about you getting this job, but how does your husband feel?You need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him and explain what would make you happy. There is no reason you guys can't make it work and there is always the chance that a better shift will open up later down the line.

I agree with talking with your husband. I to am in a bit of a spot related to family and work. However for me it is more about what is in my own head, than anyone elses. I am currently pregnant, due July 4th, working on my ADN-MSN and working (well now off until after the baby comes). My conundrum is that I would love to stay home, but I don't want to lose my experience or networking I have been building. It breaks my heart to think of leaving my little one, I don't want her in daycare, but I also don't want my husbands family to have to be taking care of her all the time (though my Mother-in-Law has been talking about retiring and being Baby E's nanny). Family vs. Work is a tough debate, but there may be some compromise in there.Best of luck,Tait

I have to third the "talk with your husband" idea. Make sure he understands what both jobs mean to the family and how he will be affected. If hes game, the ER sounds like thats where your heart really is. And if you dont do it now, will you always wonder what could have been? Could you possibly do it later when the baby is a bit older?Funny thing is, Im in the same exact position. And I cant seem to lean one way or another.

I think its interesting that you haven't mentioned how your husband feels about it. Are you concerned that he can't handle taking care of the baby? If he cannot handle it, he needs to learn, no matter what job decision you make. I have to say I am a little biased though, I think when both the husband and wife work, the childrearing responsibilities need to be shared equally.Is this a 5 day a week position or a 3-12's position? That makes a huge difference, too.

I agree about talking to hubby, but make sure he knows this is what you would love to do , However, if you still feel un comfortable switching positions. I'm sure the chance will come again when it would be easier. I believe in Karma, and life puts you where you need to be!! Good Luck!

talk with your husband and see if you can make the ED position work. You don't want to take the telemetry position and then be resentful of it, and your family later on down the line. Plus, this is one needed step towards your end goal of becoming an acute care NP. So the hours may suck initially, but at least your foot would be in the door and hopefully you can get better hours later on down the line.

There is no one in the world that is responsible for my happiness except for me. if I look to others for my happiness I am taking a great risk because they are humans and all humans, yes especially myself make mistakes.So my point is that we alone are responsible for our happiness.My advice is that you should do what will bring YOU the most happiness. Everyone elses happiness is not your responsibility.....My two cents best of luck to you and much congrats on the job offers

As a side note here, you may be doing your husband a disservice by characterizing him as clueless and not as able to care for his own child. It's a sharp learning curve for any parent, but many dads back off when told they aren't as capable.Why not celebrate Father's day by acknowleging his contribution to raising a child?

Thanks, friends. I have spoken with my husband, and he says he supports me whatever I choose. I know he means that and will do what it takes to make it work, but he truly would prefer I take the telemetry day job. He would have to get baby to and from day care, give baby dinner, bathe her and put her down to sleep (and back to sleep when she wakes in the middle of the night). He hasn't really had a lot of practice doing that stuff at all. And, yes, I should give him more credit-- he's not clueless. I didn't intend to sound mean!So, it's basically have an awesome job and put a lot of burden on my husband, or take an okay job and make it easier on everyone.

Oh, I forgot to add that he's in medical school.

I feel for you, OP. This is a really tough decision. And I'm sure you're grateful, given the economy, for the issue of even having a decision to make!One thing that always helps me is to make a Pro/Con list. List the Pro's and Con's of each job and see if one position clearly outweighs the other. But, the clincher is that it's not necessarily what the list says that helps you make your decision. It's how you feel about what the list says. For instance, if the list definitely points to the telemetry position, but you feel greatly disappointed about that, then chances are you should go for the position that you're dreaming about.Do you feel capable of allowing your husband to be the primary parent for your infant? Not to be sexist but some moms aren't able to do that easily.One other caution: there is likely not a 100% solution here. No matter which position you choose, you will likely have a few stabs of regret and feelings of "what if I had chosen the other fork in the road?" Once you make a decision, I think you need to commit to it 100% and do your best to move on.

Oh wow - I just saw that your husband's in medical school. That really complicates the issue, doesn't it?