I either need day shift or to be single. Vent

13 Seriously, my fiance has no common sense at all. He is either extremely inconsiderate or a complete and utter moron. I am going into my second week of working overnights and I can not sleep if he is home. Should I have to tell you not to vacuum while I am trying to sleep? Should I have to tell you not to come in the bedroom and put away your laundry while I am trying to sleep? Do we really need to have a converstaion about not using the darn treadmill with music blaring in the room right next to where I am trying to sleep?

And I get this stupid look from him, that when exhausted, makes me want to harm him. I swear if he does not get a clue and start being a little more considerate,this is not going to work. He is a very heavy sleeper and can sleep through anything. I AM NOT!!!!! He doesn't get it. He does not think before doing these things.

I just don't know how to make this work. He is normally a smart guy. I think I am going to have to treadmill and vacuum tonight! I am tired and crabby and this is not a good combination.
I've worked nights for 5 years now. At first I had problems with my teenagers waking me up. It took a little time and training to get them to be quiet when I was sleeping. They quickly learned though that if they did wake me up they didn't like cranky/exhausted mom and countless lectures.People that don't work nights just don't get it. I've wanted to mow directly under my neighbors bedroom window at 0230 but have held myself back. I guess I would try sitting down and talking to him. Also, maybe ambient noise like a fan to drown out some sound. If all else fails I would definitely make a significant amount of noise while he is sleeping to get your point across.I understand your frustration and hope things get better!

First of all... he's vacuuming and doing laundry? Amazing. Second, let me tell you how frustrating it will be for HIM that now that you're working night shift, his life will have to stop while you're sleeping. Maybe you can come up with a list of activities he CAN do while you're sleeping. Dusting, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, food shopping. And now you'll have to pick up the vacuuming and laundry.

During the week he is at work while I am sleeping, so this is only going to be a weekend problem thankfully. lol,Vespertinas you are correct, it is nice of him to do the laundry and vaccuming. I tend to forget that when awoken from my peaceful slumber.

certainly, this is called compromising, just keep in mind that this to shall pass. therefore, look to the future when the two of you will be able to share dinner every night wishing you and your partner the very best...aloha~

Not being a smart butt and unless I have missed it in reading, have you actually discussed it with him what is going on?

You said it's only been 2 weeks right? I am sure it is hard for him to switch off his routines too. he probably doesn't get it. But he IS vacuuming and doing laundry!Talk to him, discuss it, because it is an adjustment to him too. He really probably doesn't understand.

What about using earplugs when you sleep? I find they definitely help with outside noise. And if you worry about missing your alarm, you can 1. have your fiance wake you (nicely of course), or 2. get an alarm clock that vibrates you awake...they even have one you wear on your wrist.

Quote from beekerSeriously, my fiance has no common sense at all. He is either extremely inconsiderate or a complete and utter moron. I am going into my second week of working overnights and I can not sleep if he is home. Should I have to tell you not to vacuum while I am trying to sleep? Should I have to tell you not to come in the bedroom and put away your laundry while I am trying to sleep? Do we really need to have a converstaion about not using the darn treadmill with music blaring in the room right next to where I am trying to sleep?

DTMFA

I remember how hard it was for my family for them to basically put their weekends on hold and not be able to do anything when I was working nights. Sucked for them. Sounds like you need to have a conversation. And as far as the neighbors - it's not exactly their fault. They can't exactly put their lives on hold because you work nights. Lawns still gotta be mowed. Invest in a good pair of foam earplugs, some black plastic hefty bags that you can put over your windows, turn off the ringer on your phone, and put a sign on your front door so nobody knocks or rings.

i had a different (weird) problem with my fiance, now husband, when i worked nights that was equally annoying.he'd sneak around, tiptoeing all the way... so i could sleep and he wouldn't bother me. sounds considerate, doesn't it?the little squeaks and tiptoes were just plain maddening! i appreciated his intent, but the end result was intolerable. once he went back to his usual noises and i quit being so annoyed and frustrated, i was fine. the earplugs are a good idea.

Invest in a good fan......one that makes noise and room darlening shades. In the summer even though we had central air I actually had a small window unit that I Would run for the noise alone. My husband had a hard time adjusting to my working nights,initially......that's when I placed the treadmill in the room and would work out at 2 am, did laundry at 3 am and vacuum at 4...on purpose. It dawned on him that maybe he needed to be slightly more considerate... I was always very protective of my sleep. I shut off phones and let it be known that it had better be good (like the house is on fire) to ring my door bell and it would be answered by a very tired and angry owner and a very large dog.One time when the kids were little ( they are 11 months apart) , I was blindly making spaghetti......my husband came home and said something to the effect of..."Oh, pasta again....." I looked at him like he had lobsters coming out of his ears, I took the pot and chucked it in the trash and said..."The kids are fed, you however, can starve.....I am going to bed." I woke up to a dozen roses and a sorry hubby. It take our loved ones time to adjust. Have a serious conversation and make it clear what you will do if he doesn't at least make an attempt to understand......but make sure you thank him for the laundry and the vacuum. it seems like he is trying to help and might not quite hear you clearly enough. YOu do get used to them and being able to blockout the noise.