Scared of the future...

Hi,

I haven't posted much on here. I'm 25 and I am enrolled to start nursing school this August. I am go to school at a community college right now to get my cna. My problem is that I am scared of the future. For so long I told myself I would never be a nurse. My mom and sister are both nurses. My mom always told me all the time that I should be a nurse. She has been sick a alot of my life and I was always the one who took care of her. I have changed her urostomy bag, emptied it, helped her go to the restroom, helped her bathe, help her walk around... but the thought of taking cna classes and then becoming a nurse terrifies me. Everyone tells me that I would be a great nurse.. That I'm calm, patient, kind, compassionate... My boyfriend said that me and being a nurse just fits. He says its what I was made for. And everything seems to be falling into place.

But I have this huge fear, due to previous bad experiences in my life, that I won't be able to do the job. That for some reason it will be too hard for me and I will mess up. I'm smart. I get good grades, but its like this hindering fear. I have had problems with anxiety in the past and went through a bout of depression and panic attacks. I have been panic attack free and not depressed for over a year and a half. I have grown up so much and felt like I was until I just had to sign up for cna classes. Its like I was avoiding doing this until now. Now its starting... cna classes then nursing school. Here my life changes significantly. I never thought I would get here. I've been having this anxiety attack for a few days now. I can't stop fearing that I won't be able to do it and that I will hate it. That I won't be good enough to have someone under my care. That I won't be able to learn how.

I know this isn't common, and I know that some people will think that I shouldn't be a nurse, and sometimes i don't think I want to. But everyone around me is confused as to why I think that. They all tell me it just fits me, and I would be an awesome nurse. Can anyone relate to this? How do I get past this? Will I be able to learn it? What do I do? I feel like giving up before I start, but I know if I do that I will regret it for the rest of my life. All of me wants to stay in my office job and just work that the rest of my life, because it is safe... but I know that I would feel worthless because I live up to my full potential. Please, I need some help...
It's more common than you think. The very fact that you are aware of your fear is a good thing.Take one step at a time, let every knock be a boost, if life hands you hard times, just keep on going. I think you'll do just fine and the school that has accepted you thinks so, too. I wish you every happiness and success. I hope you'll keep coming to allnurses and keep us abreast of your doings.

Quote from cknorrhi,i haven't posted much on here. i'm 25 and i am enrolled to start nursing school this august. i am go to school at a community college right now to get my cna. my problem is that i am scared of the future. everyone has some kind of anxiety when embarking on a new journey, which is what you are doing. this is totally normal. for so long i told myself i would never be a nurse. my mom and sister are both nurses. my mom always told me all the time that i should be a nurse. she has been sick a alot of my life and i was always the one who took care of her. i have changed her urostomy bag, emptied it, helped her go to the restroom, helped her bathe, help her walk around... but the thought of taking cna classes and then becoming a nurse terrifies me. everyone tells me that i would be a great nurse.. that i'm calm, patient, kind, compassionate... my boyfriend said that me and being a nurse just fits. he says its what i was made for. and everything seems to be falling into place. it seems as though you have all of the traits and qualities of a good nurse. if you have the raw materials, all you need now is the confidence in yourself to push forward, and get into school. but i have this huge fear, due to previous bad experiences in my life, that i won't be able to do the job. that for some reason it will be too hard for me and i will mess up. honey, everyone feels this way when starting out in nursing school. it is scary!! your instructors will not let you do anything unsafe. i'm smart. i get good grades, but its like this hindering fear. i have had problems with anxiety in the past and went through a bout of depression and panic attacks. i have been panic attack free and not depressed for over a year and a half. i have grown up so much and felt like i was until i just had to sign up for cna classes. its like i was avoiding doing this until now. now its starting... cna classes then nursing school. here my life changes significantly. i never thought i would get here. i've been having this anxiety attack for a few days now. i can't stop fearing that i won't be able to do it and that i will hate it. that i won't be good enough to have someone under my care. that i won't be able to learn how. you must quell this fear. you feel this way now because you don't have any formal education in nursing. you are seeing such a vast challenge and it is overwhelming you. take it one day at a time, one lesson at a time, one study session at a time. you can't build a house in one day...you must start with a foundation and build upon it. i know this isn't common, it is very common and i know that some people will think that i shouldn't be a nurse, never let anyone's opinion stand in the way of what you want to accomplish in life. you are giving them power that they don't deserve. and sometimes i don't think i want to. but everyone around me is confused as to why i think that. they all tell me it just fits me, and i would be an awesome nurse. can anyone relate to this? how do i get past this? will i be able to learn it? what do i do? i feel like giving up before i start, but i know if i do that i will regret it for the rest of my life. all of me wants to stay in my office job and just work that the rest of my life, because it is safe... but i know that i would feel worthless because i live up to my full potential. please, i need some help...

Canesdukegirl,I love seeing supportive posts like these - we could all take something away from your advice, and that empathy is something we could never have enough of.

Everyone goes thru this, except for the cocky people who are dangerous to themselves and others. As you learn confidence in your abilities this will subside. However, if the issues are deeper, and affect your private life, you might consider consulting a professional counselor (or other) for your anxiety. Good luck!

I used to suffer from pretty severe anxiety attacks and one thing that helped me was to understand that people who suffer from the attacks have a tendency to "catastroph-ize" things. That is, we take an idea that is legitimately worrisome (i.e. what if I fail) and build it up into a belief that "if the thought occurs to me that I will fail, it is destined for me to fail, and it will be the end of the world."We all worry about failure. The more strongly determined you are, the more you feel like you have to lose, and the more you worry. This obviously means a lot to you. I think you will be fine.But. If you fail it won't be the end of the world. I don't think you will fail, you sound like you have a lot of knowledge and experience going in, and a strong support system. If something for some reason goes wrong, you sound like the kind of person who will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.For me it helps to believe that the path that I wind up on is the path that is right for me, whatever that may be. I wanted to go to nursing school, which believe me, was a radical departure from where I was in my life at the time. It was scary, but it felt like the right thing for me. Some very difficult things happened when I was in school, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, but I just held on to my faith that this was what I wanted and I plowed on through.You will be OK. Have faith in yourself.

Quote from cknorrHi,I haven't posted much on here. I'm 25 and I am enrolled to start nursing school this August. I am go to school at a community college right now to get my cna. My problem is that I am scared of the future. ...

You should do what is in your heart to do, not what others tell you to do. Maybe you need a little moer time to be certain of what YOU really want.However, that being said, my history is so similar to yours. Before I found out I got into the nursing program I had a panic attack. First and only panic attack ever, although I have suffered from anxiety since then. The attack was only 8 months before school began and I was a paniced mess all through school. Ikept wishing I had waited longer before starting school. I could barely eat, my throat burned from stomach acid constantly, and I had nightmares all the time. When it was all said and done I was so relieved but yet I still had no confidence I could do the job and not get eaten by anxiety. The oddest thing : once I finally got a job as a nurse I worked about 4 shifts nd then one day I HAD to take charge and it all just clicked. It was almost like a cure for my anxiety. That's not to say I am not still nervous I will hurt someone or that I don't still have issues with anxiety on and of; but putting myself in the position of protecting other people's lives really changed me for the better.

Quote from mazyI used to suffer from pretty severe anxiety attacks and one thing that helped me was to understand that people who suffer from the attacks have a tendency to "catastroph-ize" things. That is, we take an idea that is legitimately worrisome (i.e. what if I fail) and build it up into a belief that "if the thought occurs to me that I will fail, it is destined for me to fail, and it will be the end of the world."We all worry about failure. The more strongly determined you are, the more you feel like you have to lose, and the more you worry. This obviously means a lot to you. I think you will be fine.But. If you fail it won't be the end of the world. I don't think you will fail, you sound like you have a lot of knowledge and experience going in, and a strong support system. If something for some reason goes wrong, you sound like the kind of person who will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on going.For me it helps to believe that the path that I wind up on is the path that is right for me, whatever that may be. I wanted to go to nursing school, which believe me, was a radical departure from where I was in my life at the time. It was scary, but it felt like the right thing for me. Some very difficult things happened when I was in school, I wasn't sure I was going to make it, but I just held on to my faith that this was what I wanted and I plowed on through.You will be OK. Have faith in yourself.

I remember a turning point for me - I was a new grad and very anxious. I worked with two nurses with > 10-15 yr experience. I overheard them talking to one another about "what do you think I should do?" I listened to the conversation (we were all at the nurses' station) and it finally hit me that I will NEVER know it all and the best I can do is the best I can do. I also learned my co-workers are good resources.

I had similar fears. I was afraid that someone's life would hang in the balance and that I would choke. That has since happend and of course I didn't choke. I and my team did everything right but we still lost the patient. If this fear is debilitating I have a couple of tips or things you can try. You can call a local hospital and speak to the Dean of Nursing and ask if you can shadow a nurse for a couple of days. They are usually very helpful in assisting people who are interested in the field. That might qualm you fears a bit and help you to decide. You can also go into other areas of nursing such as radiology, phlebotomy or even medical billing where the pressure of life/death may not be so constant. It has been my experience, and I have seen this in several hospitals/homes. If a "code" happens, you will not be acting alone. People, other nurses, supervisors, CNA's, etc. will be responding to the code with you. Whatever your worst fears are, you will not be acting alone. With all that said, the biggest challenge in nursing today is FINDING A JOB. They are just not out there in Ohio. I would love to know where this nursing shortage is because I haven't seen it. Look at the job market before you decide. I have been a nurse for 3 short years and it is horrible out there to try to find a job.