Good-bye Mrs. Meanjeans

This is a really nice story. It is so true that sometimes the most hateful people turn out to be the ones that are in the most emotional pain, but are too afraid to express it.

There you go, some people would tell you must never say the things to a patient that you said.(not that it is that bad) Heh, but they are ivory tower nurses. Good story, Good story thanks for sharing.

This is a familiar story.We have our regular terrorists passing through our ED who make untrue accusations .... refuse to move themselves for toileting (when they normally mobilise independently) and deliberately create situations for staff to risk backs.... monopolise as many staff members as they can with their outrageous behaviour. Refuse to feed themselves when are able to eat independently and then insist staff have let them starveOf course they are very obese and it's quite an effort moving them. And of course their family members support their poor behaviour.I have had one recently and it was all too much. Am seriously thinking of leaving nursing ....this has done it for me.I do not want to look after these people anymore

So glad she turned around for you. You know that is all you needed, just a little from her!!!Viva, have you spent time thinking of this fact too? I am sure we all have. All the sweet grandmas that used to sit and knit, or make cookies, or spend so much time with the grandkids... are now in short supply (Mrs. Meanjeans is not included in this group, LOL). Soon, most little old grandmas will have worked a full career and be hardened like we are. Also, all the WWII vets, who have the grand stories to tell, and really just worked for the simple things in life soon will be gone. The generation of those with time and respect for "manners" will be gone. So sad for the world. When you think of our image of what little old ladies are like -- that image will be wrong.And I have to say, of course, that people often forget that old people are just that. If you were a horrible person your whole young life, you have a good chance of remaining so as you age (or worse). Old people can and will screw you over if so inclined if they did same to others when they were young if pathology doesn't make them forget how. And now, with "manners" almost totally gone from society, it's gonna be a free-for-all in LTC. What a scary thought!

That's totally understandable, pedicurn.I've got to admit, I've thought about leaving nursing more than once after dealing with people like this. But it's not the patients, per se, or even the families, that burn me up.........it's the utter refusal of management to staff up when we have high-acuity patients, or even to set some limits on their behaviors. And what REALLY chaps my hide is the fact that it's always the staff that gets thrown under the bus when the inevitable conflicts arise---it's always their word over ours, and if it ruins a career.....well, that's just too bad. I've never had this misfortune happen to me personally, but I have seen a good LTC nurse ruined by nothing more than mere allegations from an immensely selfish, neurotic, out-for-all-she-could-get patient. She lost her job and was essentially blackballed from nursing because this 400+lb. brittle diabetic got angry with her for refusing to fetch her a second piece of cake from the kitchen. (The nurse was responsible for over 35 patients.........she didn't have TIME to run to the kitchen, even for the 2-Cal that the skinny ones were prescribed.) As these things go, the story got worse each time the patient told it, and after the state jumped in, the nurse was fired for "failing to respect resident rights" and even reprimanded by the BON. She now works as a cashier at Fred Meyer for a fraction of the wages she earned as a nurse, because no other local facility would hire her and with a husband and kids still in college, she was unable to relocate.THAT is what I find most disturbing about nursing these days. I can handle the patients---I've learned to let barbed comments and even insults run off my back---but the lack of support from management in most facilities can take the heart right out of even the strongest of us. We can be verbally and physically abused, threatened, even killed, and almost NO ONE in administration will stand up to the abusive patient/family and tell them to stop or face the consequences. And they wonder why nurses are leaving the profession........

Totally agree ...management refuse to set proper limits with these patients ....especially if they are old ladies LOL

This sort of case always makes me grateful to be nursing in the UK.The NHS would throw out a complaint of "Not giving cake to a diabetic" on grounds of the nurse acting in the best interests of the patient. The regulatory body the NMC would, I strongly suspect do the same.Cases of abusive and difficult patients are dealt with by senior nurses. Sister, Senior Sister or Matron will read them the riot act and the Consultant doctor will be informed. The Consultant will then pull them up on bad behaviour.The Consultant can refuse further treatment if abusive or non-compliant behaviours persist although they rarely do. These abusive patients are well-known, their behaviours documented and complaints made by them are rarely upheld.

In my short career in subacute, I can say these facilities are often the last bastion of patients like this. Not willing/able to go home and too stable for acute care, the nurses are at the mercy of salespeople who only need to fill the beds. I have made high marks in my short career of handling them, although I may not be as well adjusted when I vent here or to my friends at work. But this helped a little to know that even in the worst cases it may be appreciated if not always verbalized. Now send me strength to get through one more week, or even a day!

Quote from VivaLasViejasThat's totally understandable, pedicurn.I've got to admit, I've thought about leaving nursing more than once after dealing with people like this. But it's not the patients, per se, or even the families, that burn me up.........it's the utter refusal of management to staff up when we have high-acuity patients, or even to set some limits on their behaviors. And what REALLY chaps my hide is the fact that it's always the staff that gets thrown under the bus when the inevitable conflicts arise---it's always their word over ours, and if it ruins a career.....well, that's just too bad. I've never had this misfortune happen to me personally, but I have seen a good LTC nurse ruined by nothing more than mere allegations from an immensely selfish, neurotic, out-for-all-she-could-get patient. She lost her job and was essentially blackballed from nursing because this 400+lb. brittle diabetic got angry with her for refusing to fetch her a second piece of cake from the kitchen. (The nurse was responsible for over 35 patients.........she didn't have TIME to run to the kitchen, even for the 2-Cal that the skinny ones were prescribed.) As these things go, the story got worse each time the patient told it, and after the state jumped in, the nurse was fired for "failing to respect resident rights" and even reprimanded by the BON. She now works as a cashier at Fred Meyer for a fraction of the wages she earned as a nurse, because no other local facility would hire her and with a husband and kids still in college, she was unable to relocate.THAT is what I find most disturbing about nursing these days. I can handle the patients---I've learned to let barbed comments and even insults run off my back---but the lack of support from management in most facilities can take the heart right out of even the strongest of us. We can be verbally and physically abused, threatened, even killed, and almost NO ONE in administration will stand up to the abusive patient/family and tell them to stop or face the consequences. And they wonder why nurses are leaving the profession........

Ah, don't even get me started on 'customer service'...........I'd like to see every nurse in the country come together and gang-slap the snot out of Messrs. Press and Ganey! It's a shame that TPTB seem to believe that common decency and manners are lacking in those of us lower on the food chain, thus we have to be taught, threatened, scripted, and forced to be nice to people. I don't get it. Most folks who weren't raised by wolves know how to treat their fellow travelers on the road of life; certainly we know how to say "Please" and "thank you". (It would be great if patients remembered this a little more often too!) The rest should, and in my experience usually does, come naturally; we don't need a piece of paper telling us how to talk to our patients, and we certainly don't need hospitals and nursing facilities run like the Ritz-Carlton.

Well....that is a sweet story and everything, but I still hate it. I *HATE* that this is one of the only jobs on the planet where it is acceptable to be treated like crap. If my patients spoke to a cop the way they speak to me, they'd be in jail. Yet I have to sit there and take it?? BULL! I am not an angel, I am not there for you to unload 40+ years of resentment on! I want to do my job (ie. MEDICAL CARE) and be done with it. Sorry. Bad night :/

Sometimes you just have to be blunt and I think that often people respect you for it. I have had to be blunt a few times with people but I always followed up to help them with what they needed just as the nurse in this story did. I am sure this poor patient was not happy to be where she was. And often, people lose so much control over their own lives in situations like this, they try everything to gain some measure of control. You can't blame them for it.