Accepting this gift from a patient

I had a patient that was insistent on getting my information upon leaving the ICU. He wanted my home address. I gave him the hospital card with my name on it. It had our hospital phone number. I told this patient before I transferred him to a SDU that this is a team effort. From the Drs that did the surgery down to Enviornmental service that kept his room clean. He insisted that I was the main person who made the most impact on his stay in the ICU. Him and his family personally requested that I be their nurse on all days that I worked when during his short stay in the ICU (only 2 or 3 days).

He actually was almost in tears thanking me for everything I did when I left him after taking him to the SDU. I told him the best way to show his appreciation was to fill out the customer satisfaction form that would be sent to his home and rate the care he received from our HOSPITAL.

A few days ago, I receive a very thoughtful card and a check. It's not a huge amount but regardless I was just doing my job! I treat him like I treat all patients I have ever had in the ICU. They are not some poor family on medicare, medicaid etc. I have asked several people. We also have a policy on receiving gifts but physicians and nurses receive gifts from patients on a daily basis although not monetary. But many of the baskets (flowers, fruit), gift cards, food (pizza ordered) etc received by nurses or our unit is way more than the check I received.

The patient didn't offer this in person in which of course I would have declined. It was mailed. I don't want to insult the family by declining their gift but then I feel a certain way about accepting it. Either way I want to write the family back to show my appreciation and to wish them well in his recovery.

My options are to:
1. mail the check back
2. rip up the check (in which they may be counting on to clear their account)
3. keep the check
a. keep for self (maybe buy some much needed white uniforms pants and shirts)
b. buy something for my unit (snacks/basket/food, pens, notepads, penlights or something useful for us to use).

I'm really not looking for some lecture. Just tell me honestly what you would do. Thanks.
i would buy something for the unit...definitely.returning it, would likely be offensive.keeping it for yourself, is truly inappropriate.write him that thank you card, and tell him how you spent the money.leslie

I would mail it back, with a note stating that you appreciate the thoughtful gift but are not allowed to accept it (per your facility's policies). Let your supervisor in on what you are doing to keep it all above board - you don't want this to bounce back on you at some later date. Even though the value of gifts of flowers, chocolate etc received by the unit may be greater than this gift, I really think it would compromise your employment if you accept it. I can't believe your facility doesn't have a policy against it. Whatever the amount of money, it isn't worth losing your job over if anyone were to find out.

They almost take the choice out of your hands by sending you the check. Perhaps the gracious thing to do would be to get something useful for someone who needs it and let the person know what you did. That is not the "correct" thing to do by the book, I am certain, but it would be less harsh treatment toward someone who means well.

My hospital made several nurses return a gift. Their rationale was that the health board felt the average nurse could not afford to give a gift of similar value to the donor.I'd return the cheque to him and ask him to donate to the hospital fundraising office for something to benefit all the users of the hospital.What I do find strange is this statement in your post: "..... but regardless I was just doing my job! I treat him like I treat all patients I have ever had in the ICU. They are not some poor family on medicare, medicaid etc. I have asked several people."Every patient should be treated the same even if they are poor. But I guess that is the difference with our system of universal healthcare. We don't really know our patients socio-economic status.

I'd cash it and donate it to a charity. Send a thank you letter to the patient telling them about the donation made in their name.

Quote from Fiona59 What I do find strange is this statement in your post: "..... but regardless I was just doing my job! I treat him like I treat all patients I have ever had in the ICU. They are not some poor family on medicare, medicaid etc. I have asked several people."Every patient should be treated the same even if they are poor. But I guess that is the difference with our system of universal healthcare. We don't really know our patients socio-economic status.

I would mail it back and also send a note with it saying thank you for the gift but I cannot accept it because It is my job to take care of my patients and I enjoy helping people and I do not need a gift in return. Or I could simply, I cannot accept it due to hospital's policy.

A good family who know good care when they see it. In their eyes they are trying to say thank you, but don't know the problems a cheque can cause. I would think sending it back would cause them to be insulted, or have their feelings hurt.I would think the best course of action is to talk to someone in HR. There are many things that could be done, most of them already mentioned. But before I'd do anything, I would talk to HR. Sending the cheque back could reflect on the hospital too. I think buying something for your workmates, or even donating it to the hospital itself would probably be the best course to go. Just let them know that it was given to the hospital/staff in your name, so they know the gift was accepted. But make sure you have HR's blessing first. I hope you find an answer that works.

In addition to the above advice, just for CYA, I'd bring it to my managers attention. If you don't, and he or she hears about it through another route, you could have some splaining to do. By being up front with it you protect yourself. If you don't, you never know what the manager might be told, and after the fact you'd be defending your decision, no matter how perfectly you handle it.

I would notify the manager, and write the patient a thank you note, saying you bought something for the unit and how much it was appreciated. Maybe coffee for everyone some day you are working?

On second thought, life is too short. If you buy coffee or pizza for the unit, everybody will say "that's nice." On the other hand, if you add a couple of zeroes to it and get yourself a one way ticket to Rio, you'll forever be a legend! just imagine what that would do for morale! You owe it to your co-workers! Now is not the time to be selfish.

Quote from dthfytrOn second thought, life is too short. If you buy coffee or pizza for the unit, everybody will say "that's nice." On the other hand, if you add a couple of zeroes to it and get yourself a one way ticket to Rio, you'll forever be a legend! just imagine what that would do for morale! You owe it to your co-workers! Now is not the time to be selfish.