Lack of confidence on the job

Hi, My name is Tara and I'm an LPN in Ohio. I work at a longterm care facility/new rehab add on unit. I have worked here for 6 years. As a dietary aide, STNA, and LPN for the past 3 years. Since I have been working as an LPN I find that I am still extremely lacking confidence in myself and my job performance. Well, not sure that I ever had it. When I was in LPN school my mother was ill with cancer. She passed away a week after I graduated. I then began working PRN, picking up all kinds of crazy shifts and have been since then because ever since I graduated LPN school, I have been in college working towards my RN/degree. I was extremely stressed out throughout LPN school as you can image, but I pulled through w/ all A's and B's. Passed my boards, no problem. I'm really feeling like nursing wasn't what I thought it was. I am a compassionate and caring person but it's the stress of the job that eats away at me. I want to be confident and professional. I know part of this could be the facilty I work at, which has been extremely unorganized w/ 111% turn over rate for RNs. I feel like I slave away and my 12 hr shift becomes one giant medpass-esp on the rehab side w/ I am frequently floated to. I thought contiinuing my education would help me build on my confidence and skills but I just find myself flustered and depressed. Any help/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I am not a quiter, but i find myself rethinking my career choice. I did not have any proper rehab training and I know being PRN probably doesn't help me get the hang of things either. Sorry this post is so long but I am very desperate!
-Tara
Many have pointed out here that unfortunately nursing is transforming into being less about caring and more about profit. It's hard to have time to care when assignments are ungodly. You are probably in need of a change. Maybe a different environment. I'd try that before switching careers completely. Do whatever makes you happy though!~ No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent -Eleanor Roosevelt ~
You've had a significant tragedy happen in your life, then you added stress once you started your first nursing job, which gives you a reduced satisfaction because of the emphasis of the meds only role it expects from nurses. Have you went through your grieving process?? Have you talked to somebody if you haven't?? Just as a way to express your stress and anxiety, find some support to transition during your challenges. As for LTC...sometimes the "rehab" side can be just as challenging as the LTC side. Is there any way that you can find ways to use your "caring skills?" When I did LTC, I used those skills during med pass. I gave them dignity, therapeutic touch, even in the 30-45 seconds I had to be in their presence to give their meds. A quick listening ear, as a part of my assessment. Also, as PRN, would you consider increasing hours or requesting more time on the rehab side up gain experience??? Advocate for yourself...you have the power to establish how well you want to do in nursing. Do the best you can, and if you desire another position, research and see what you think will be best for you in Nursing. There are many specialties that your "caring" skills can shine through...either way, good luck!!!!