How Do I Toughen Up At Work? Part 2

Thanks for posting such a great article. I can pretty much relate to it and many aspects of my life.

Two thumbs up! Fantastic article! This should be included in nursing school curriculum! Excellent strategies, rn writer. This is worth printing and adding into my journal, for frequent reminders. Newbies & seasoned RNs alike can benefit. Super job!

Very nice advice! Just what I needed

Thanks for the terrific article. Good stuff. One aspect of the work - criticism equation that gives me the most trouble is adding in /"and what does this person's criticism mean in terms of my job /" ? Its much easier to let things roll off my back if their biggest possible impact is just that I spend a while feeling disappointed or sad. Its harder when negativity comes from sources that can threaten your job. It all reminds me of an experiment we were told about in psych class: A monkey was randomly picked out of their group, painted green, and replaced back in the group. The result? The other monkeys tore the green monkey apart. (As a result, I surely hope that they probably don't do that particular experiment any more, so to avoid animal cruelty.) A lot of time at work I feel like the green monkey: recognized by some of my fellow nurses as different enough to make a difference, and not in a way they are happy about. Most nurses are compassionate people who accept and value diversity. A very few do not see the value of diversity, or feel somehow threatened by it. I'm not at work to get my minimum daily requirement of positive strokes, but nursing is very much a team endeavour, and not having at least some basic level of acceptance from a few of the CNAs means that I have to use extra energy getting them on board for the day's tasks, and dealing with some passive aggressive behaviors stemming from a few CNAs general resentment. One example: In front of a patient going for surgery that morning, one of the CNAs questioned the pre-surgical protocol I was asking her to help with. It was not first time that CNA had done something like that in front of a patient. I'd let the other times roll off my back, but this time I could see that her sniping me had made my patient lose confidence in the correctness of her care. When a patient is going in for major surgery, undermining her confidence in the abilities of her medical team is cruel and increased pre-op anxiety could lead to a worse outcome. I had spent about 45 minutes in this patient's room earlier that night, answering her questions, and calming her fears. Back then, I could see the fear melt away and her body relax as she gained in understanding and confidence in her team. All that patient's body tension came back, and her eyes went wide with fear, because the CNA choose that moment to (yet again) take a (verbal) swipe in my direction. Not that it matters, but I printed up our facilities policy after that, and it proved I had been 100% correct about the pre-op protocol I'd told the CNA that we were to use. Now I'll need to use my time and energy figuring out the best way to approach this CNA to discuss what happened so it doesn't happen again. Realistically, the end result of any attempt to show her how her choice hurt the patient will only lead to her telling her CNA buddies what a witch I am. If history is any predictor. Frankly, I'm thinking of moving north, south or east a state, to see if I can find a place I fit better, but their are bullies everywhere, and I'd rather do what I can to heal the sick parts of an otherwise stellar unit. Again, thank you for the excellent article, its just what I needed.

This is a wonderful article! Thank you! I have realized that having confidence tends to follow with a little experience. Once you are more secure in your job you can let other things bounce off of you. I was so overstimulated with learning my job role that any negative comments/criticism sent me over the edge. I can certainly attest that things get better if you just hang in there!

im in my low moments now, and coincidentally, i just by stroke of chance stumbled upon your article. thank you so much. you are a great writer, what you wrote has touched souls , and would continue to touch more. God bless you. keep the flag flying

Quote from Nurse kThanks for posting such a great article. I can pretty much relate to it and many aspects of my life.

"Looking down on yourself means you won't have your eye on the ball, leaving you even more vulnerable to making more mistakes."Thanks. Frequently, I read similar things about why we should not take criticism as certain truth. Or I see vague steps that are supposed to help "keep a journal", "exercise", "be more assertive." But I seldom see anyone offer a how that directly addresses the negative mental chatter. If one already has a low self-image, it can feel like simply lying to repeat a mantra of "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, etc."This gives me the perfect tool to replace that chatter: Focus on the patient. If I'm allowing myself to be upset, I'm not seeing their needs. I'm sure I'm not the only nurse who grew up being taught to put other people first to the point that they never learned to properly take care of their own self. While this doesn't solve the second problem, it utilizes a predisposition in a way to diffuse an emotionally charged situation.