Overcoming Guilt: The First Step to Self Care

The last 21 years as an assistant to an ortho Doctor??? Nice. I would love that job!!!

Guilt does serve a practical and positive purpose. It is the only way we have to time travel. It's knowing how and when to let go of the guilt that proves to be problematic for most people.

Hmmm....interesting....would love to learn more about your time travel reference. I agree, moving beyond guilt is a great obstacle, especially if it has been a long standing and practiced way of being. First step, is to be aware that is where one dwells, then moving beyond it is an option if one chooses.

The time travel reference was a grace passed on to me by someone who had it passed on to her. She had been sitting by her mom's bedside for weeks, giving her mom love, encouragement, and permission to die. Finally, after an exhausting two weeks, her mom's nurse told her one night she should go home and get some rest. She left, and an hour later her mom passed. She confided to her friend her incredible guilt that after months of caring for her mom and two weeks of constant vigilance, she wasn't there when her mom passed. She told her friend she felt she had done as much as humanly possible and it wasn't logical, but she felt guilty all the same.And her friend said "Guilt is how you stay in the room."I needed to metaphorically stay in the room for a while after my son died, and I'm sure there are plenty of other people who need to emotionally time travel back to the place before "Before" became "After". Guilt is how you stay in the room.Use it until you don't need it, and let it go when it no longer serves you. I think that's the part people are bad at.

Your stories are tender ones to which I'm sure many people can relate. What struck me as I read your note was that it was love that was present in the room (or even when one is not in the room). Interestingly, what I believe is the greatest component of people overcoming guilt is self-love, and yes, I agree, that is what we are often "bad at". Self love leads to self care. I appreciate you sharing your story.

Quote from Kate4healthHmmm....interesting....would love to learn more about your time travel reference. I agree, moving beyond guilt is a great obstacle, especially if it has been a long standing and practiced way of being. First step, is to be aware that is where one dwells, then moving beyond it is an option if one chooses.

Julie....from your description and in light of your diagnosis of MS you have a more than the usual challenges to face daily. It must me more challenging than running a marathon every day to simply get through a shift at work. You were clear in your description of daily difficulties, yet you did not share what your status is in self care. My questions for you involve your attitude about honoring yourself as well as the practical things you do to physically keep yourself at your optimal level physically and emotionally? Obviously you cannot meet the physical challenges you once did and you need and deserve some extra TLC. Do you accept that or are you resisting?In light of losing your mother and the emotional impact of that loss, your need for additional support is even more important. I encourage you to seek professional help as well as asking for assistance from anyone in your personal life that understands your situation. You don't have to go through this alone. Responding to this post was a positive step.....I encourage you to take the next step and the next. Your wellbeing depends on it and you can direct it's course from the inside out. I wish you well.

Quote from Kate4healthJulie....from your description and in light of your diagnosis of MS you have a more than the usual challenges to face daily. It must me more challenging than running a marathon every day to simply get through a shift at work. You were clear in your description of daily difficulties, yet you did not share what your status is in self care. My questions for you involve your attitude about honoring yourself as well as the practical things you do to physically keep yourself at your optimal level physically and emotionally? Obviously you cannot meet the physical challenges you once did and you need and deserve some extra TLC. Do you accept that or are you resisting?In light of losing your mother and the emotional impact of that loss, your need for additional support is even more important. I encourage you to seek professional help as well as asking for assistance from anyone in your personal life that understands your situation. You don't have to go through this alone. Responding to this post was a positive step.....I encourage you to take the next step and the next. Your wellbeing depends on it and you can direct it's course from the inside out. I wish you well.