Accepting aging and disability

2 Another thread mentioning that the boomers aren't interested in going to nursing homes got me thinking. I'm finding that there are older people I have encountered say in their 70s and 80s who don't appear to have done much along the lines of accepting and planning for their inevitable decline. After a long blessed life of good health they seem shocked that things are now going down hill and resistant to accept they might have to leave their home. Maybe its me but I'm doubtful that many people just die naturally in their sleep at their own home.
I live in an area where we have a warm climate in the winter and that has a large influx of the elderly during those months. I have seen very sad stories of couples that can't care for themselves, living together in their winter home without any family/friends around. When one goes down hill the other spouse has no close-by support. Although, occasionally both of the spouses are pretty demented and you wonder how in the world they live on their own. Seen some heartbreaking stories of spouses alone in this area after the other spouse has a severe CVA and will forever more be unable to return to their longstanding Northern community; mostly where their children/grandchildren/life-long friends are.

I suppose no one likes to think they will never be independent. And the baby boomers (me too!) are all about personal freedom. But it seems to me that once you accept the challenge of being dependent you accept that you are in the dying process. No wonder people put it off.

How sad and bound to get worse as our population continues to love longer.

Quote from Jules AHow sad and bound to get worse as our population continues to love longer.

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Quote from GrnTeaAs one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Fortunately, we know this better than most. Documentation is cheap, and in our house, abundant.

During our admission process we always ask if the patient has an advance directive and it's very surprising to me that 99% of the older population doesn't even know what that is. I feel like we're in an era that pushes people to be prepared for worse case scenarios. I know my parents have a living will, advance directives, a planned POA if the time comes when they need one, etc., etc. I guess I'm misinformed in that area or the baby boomers just were never pushed to be as prepared for life threatening situations as today's generations are. As for financials, I can understand why one would not be as prepared in this category, especially in this economy. Plus I can't think of anyone that wants to get older and end up in a nursing home. If and when older adults get to that stage of their life it takes time to adjust to the idea of moving into one and often times it's too late by that point. Not enough money, insurance won't cover it, they're too sick, they're not sick enough... It's a crazy crazy business-run world we live in.

Quote from GrnTeaAs one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Quote from Jules ABut without solid documentation refusing treatment unfortunately you are likely to end up getting it.

Quote from GrnTeaAs one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Quote from OCNRN63It's funny you said that, because I was just thinking, I will let my cancer kill me before I go into a nursing home. I can't think of a more horrid existence than being stuck in a home.