How do you shake off the horrible?

2 I had a horrible, gut-wrenching patient situation this week. The kind that left me, for the first time in my short nursing career, crying on the way home, and a couple of times since. How do you shake it? How do you just leave it behind?
Busy yourself with an unrelated activity. Practice "stop" when intrusive thoughts enter your mind. Deliberately think about something else. Give yourself ten minutes per day to wallow in the problematic memories, then stop and do something else. If you have not cut down on the bad memories after a reasonable length of time, or they overwhelm you, consider professional counseling.

There's a couple patients I still think about sometimes. Especially clinic pts I got to know. I don't think I'll ever be able to shake it... they remind me why I am a nurse. What you are asking is something every healthcare provider struggles with. I recently read about paramedics suicide rate increasing because of what they have had to deal with, truly sad. Counseling can be a wonderful cathartic avenue.

Honestly, sometimes I have to dissociate what I'm seeing from being involved with a real person, because if I thought about how what I was seeing and doing was happening to a real live human being, I would probably just walk out. I am pretty good at dissociating like that when I need to.

Be gentle with yourself. Talk with other nurses. Know you tried to do what you could, but that some things are beyond your control. Know that life sucks sometimes. Know that we all go through it, and as we continue to deal with humans and illness we will continue to go through it. Know that this will build your character and make you a better nurse. It's called Experience.

A lot of talking, mindless exercise drowned with music, changing the subject to make up, time. Eventually I get perspective.

Quote from Libby1987...mindless exercise drowned with music...

I think some of these responses have helped with perspective. Thank you all. Most of my shifts are with elderly patients, and this particular patient was elderly as well. I was able to handle it until my last day with him, when the mom came in. She hadn't seen him in years and didn't know he was the way he was (which was pretty horrifying by his own doing). Her devastated reaction and uncontrollable crying did me in completely. Sometimes I wonder if being a parent makes this job even harder. We don't consider our children as old people normally. But when I see elderly parents with the same love I have, or children watching their parents die, it makes me feel this job in a different way. Again, I can normally check that at the door. Walk away. This time is different.I'll try some of these suggestions. If the feelings linger, we have an EAP that I might take advantage of.

There are certain situations that hit me in the gut, young men post catastrophic accidents are my toughest.

Give yourself a set period to process/mourn/mope/whatever over the incident. Then when that period is done, push it from your mind and focus on the next thing.

I had a woman dying of breast cancer. She was probably about 50. Her husband left her because she lost her breasts and he couldn't deal.Her daughter got married and the whole wedding party came to the hospital after the wedding. The mother and daughter were devastating. The way my patient looked at her daughter, I will never forget it as long as I live. The patient died 2 days after the wedding. RIP 513-1.Some things you NEVER forget. And that's okay.

Although hard, these experiences will build you as a nurse. Just know that we have all been there and for the most part come out stronger because of it. Hugs.

I work in the OR of a Level 1 trauma center. Even without it being a Level 1 trauma center - almost nobody has surgery for a "good" reason - it's usually because it's needed or a last resort when other options fail. I take care of many patients who receive horrible cancer diagnosis and other less than ideal outcomes. I treat my patients with respect and dignity, but in the end, I really only know the patients and families and their interactions for about 15 minutes. I don't develop the same relationship with them that I used to when I was a floor/stepdown nurse. It makes it easier to tell myself that horrible things happen, and it doesn't make any sense why it happens. That being said, some situations that we see as a Level 1 trauma center? Catastrophic injuries and abuse cases are the worst. One of the situations engrained in my memory for forever was a Level 1 trauma that came to the OR from the helipad via the ED CT scanner (not so unusual) - and arrived in the OR with the flight crew still managing the patient. We have emergencies that happen with our inpatients that can be bad, it's not just the trauma patients. It's also - bad things can happen in any procedure, no matter how small. I have coworkers I talk to. You discuss some of those situations with them. It's hard to explain some of the things you see in the OR to people who have no clue what the OR is like. Sometimes we "debrief" the situation and discuss what happened to process it, sometimes we are debriefing for changes to improve processes, etc. You find non-work things to focus on. You find songs you love to sing at the top of your lungs with the songs at a higher volume than you probably ought to listen to them at on the way home from work. When I have really bad days at work? I enjoy spending time with my dog (especially a long walk while listening to music).