New grad--old story: I am in orientation hell.

I am a new grad, but I also have about 30 years in the work force (as a paralegal and an editor). I am would give my left arm (as I am right handed) for a positive comment from my preceptor. I am about half-way through a 16-week orientation and just last week they changed preceptors. I was just starting to gain some confidence and get a rhythm and I feel like I was back at square one (or nearly). Last night I had four patients and overall I was thrilled with the way it was going, though I got bogged down with two patients in the same room who weren't critical, but were total care, and one was a safety concern). Bottom line is I was late with routine HS meds on another patient. My preceptor's comment as I came out of the one room to give these meds was "I am going to give XX her meds, it's after 10 and some of these were due at 2100. I don't know how that happened." and later, get this, "Are you familiar with military time?" Not one single attagirl all night. I am devastated and would like to go to the educator with this, as what little confidence I had is slowly draining away. I am afraid if I will be marked a complainer or who knows what else. I honestly feel like I will be a good nurse and I will get there, but I could use some encouragement once in a while. I worked so hard to get here and I don't want to give up, but coming home and crying every night this week is not working either. Thoughts? Comments?
Ahhh, OP, at least you are probably better than me. I would be oh sooooo close to saying "military time? you mean like in Iraq?" LOL. I like to ramp it up

My first thought was, "Didn't you think they teach that in nursing school anymore?" but I didn't think attitude was the right way to go. Earlier, she wanted me to start my day "her way." and I had to be assertive and tell her that I had already developed a good rhythm for checking meds and doing a quick review of my patient's orders would like to do that before pulling meds and starting assessments (we do beside report). She didn't seem happy, but her statement was "If that's what you want...."

You should follow whatever instructions she gives you and ask her what she expects from you. However, explain to her that you learned your way to handle time management and dealing with priority, but you are welcome to hear ideas from her. I think at the end of your orientation don't you receive your evaluation from your preceptors? Are you able to get feedback from your previous preceptor?

I've said it once and I will say it again:Not ALL nurses are meant to be preceptors.How much longer do you have on orientation? Try to talk to your preceptor and tell her how her constant criticism makes you feel.Start off with this:"I think you are a really a good nurse and I would like to be as strong of a nurse that you are, but when you say (insert criticism here) it makes me feel (insert feelings here)".Let her know while you welcome the criticism and would like to improve, you also would like to hear about some of the good things you did from time to time. A preceptor can make or break a new grad.Keep your head up!

op: good title!!! your story is old, but new. i am sorry you have a hard time with these preceptors. as long as this preceptor is fair to you, then do not complain. yes, i understand the snide remarks and insults, and you have every right to stand up for yourself. on the other hand, brace yourself for another year or two of this behavior from co-workers (mainly from females). the words "new grad" is equivalent to a curse word in many places. thus, your self esteem needs to come from within because not many new grads hear positive feedback from co-workers despite what your evaluations may represent. by the way, i had poor preceptors too. i changed to better ones in two places and in both cases they were males (purely coincidental, but highly refreshing)!!! however, although the men critiqued me and did not deliver snide remarks, they also did not give me much positive feedback because i was a "new nurse". in any case, you will survive if you wish to do so. in order to survive, you must be your biggest cheerleader. you cannot spend your free time putting yourself down (there will be enough people doing that anyway). rather spend your free time building yourself self up physically, emotionally, and intellectually. if it helps you, come here to vent but do not carry the negativity from work to your home.further, from what you have written i think your time management, delegation, and priorities are poor. on the other hand, this is typical of all new grads because it takes time and work experience to get better in these areas. on a positive note, you have a job so you will have the time and the practice needed to improve. join us on the first year after licensure forum; you are not alone!!! :d http://allnurses.com/first-year-after/

Some people should not be preceptors. This seems like more of the "bullying and condescending attitude" a lot of nursing students endure in school.

I do appreciate the candid the responses, definitely food for thought.

I just read one of the previos posts about the behaviour of nurses towards new nurses during their first 2 years. I want to give you some encouragement in that area. When I graduated I received 3 weeks of clinical orientation with 5-6 different preceptors. This was 2 years ago. I cried a lot my first year as a nurse partly because of lack of training and partly because of a lack of confidence. If it was not for the support of my co workers I never would have survived this crazy yet wonderful profession. Not all nurses treat new grads poorly. In fact I hardly see that at all on the unit I am on. I had one nurse be a real b---h to me a couple of times but she no longer works on my unit. I think it depends on the culture of the unit you are on. When you get off of orientation identify the supportive nurses on your unit and use them as mentors.There are a lot of nurses who like to teach and mentor and will take you under their wing.

I don't blame you one bit.I would suggest to lightly tread and offer up some candy to this grouchy orienting nurse. It's a precarious spot to be in, having a grouchy nothing-you-do-is-right preceptor, but maybe you can ask her what you're doing right, as you know well what it is you need to work on. Let her know that you're one who needs to know what is right, as well as what can be improved upon. You're obviously no spring-ish chicken, as you've been in the workforce for sometime and don't deserve to be treated as an idiot. It would be hard not to have a chip on your shoulder about being treated as a newbie. Think of how you would perceive constructive criticism if you were the preceptor and try to take the best approach. (You'd likely not be witch, I'm guessing) I wonder if it would be helpful to let her know your background and how you best learn. Perhaps that will be a hint to this preceptor that you're hip to her sheenanigans.If she's still a snot, then go to the educator and let her rip.

Quote from shoegalRNI've said it once and I will say it again:Not ALL nurses are meant to be preceptors.How much longer do you have on orientation? Try to talk to your preceptor and tell her how her constant criticism makes you feel.Start off with this:"I think you are a really a good nurse and I would like to be as strong of a nurse that you are, but when you say (insert criticism here) it makes me feel (insert feelings here)".Let her know while you welcome the criticism and would like to improve, you also would like to hear about some of the good things you did from time to time. A preceptor can make or break a new grad.Keep your head up!

What do you all think about this idea: I am off today and tomorrow. I thought about asking her on Wednesday if I could shadow her instead of taking the team. That way I could see how she does things and get an idea of how she organizes her day. I am organizing myself based on how my previous preceptor did it and my new preceptor is (sort of) trying to fix something that may not be broken. I am thinking that if I observe her "way." I might find some useful practices to incorporate into what I am already doing and open up some positive interaction.

Sounds like a good idea. Certainly can't hurt.