How To Tell If You're A Bully

Brava!!!

Couldn't have said it better myself Ruby. Good job!

I don't think a bully would ever recognize themselves as being a bully. So it goes. <sigh>

Bullies never considers themselves a bully. I came accross a few during my eight years in nursing, i also realized the ones who tend to get bullied are the new nurses on the unit. I learned quickly that when one nurse have a problem with you, they all have a problem with you. It's sad to say that eventhough, there is so many laws in the workplace thats against this time of thing, when it comes to reporting the management are reluctant to do anything about it or they just don't want to be bothered. I remember i showed a nurse how to administered blood therapy for her pt because she was new at the time and didn't have the hands on experience, i was happy to help, few years later that nurse had to help a nurse that was in the same position she was few years back, and the way she insulted that nurse, targeted her and talk about her at the nursing station; i felt it in my gut not only for the nurse but i remember when i helped her with the blood and other things now that she is comfortable she forgot what it is like to be the new nurse.

To me...if a nurse thinks that all the physicians are stupid, all the residents are incompetent and every nurse but them is lazy...then well, they are usually the bully.

Thank you Ruby! I do so try not to be like an old geezer muttering about the those @#!!%$ whippersnappers - but it seems we've swung the pendulum a little too far from making nursing less rigidly hierarchical to -- well I'll just come right out and say it - my jaw literally drops when I read some (some some some) of the responses from students and new grads to your basic 10+ years of experience nurses. They're rude, they're in your face, they think the employees at their clinical sites are "supposed to teach us", be endlessly patient, step on eggshells so as not to bruise their delicate feelings, and when they are behaving badly most of them want the nurse to apologize to them. I have a gigantic culture clash with those things, and even when an older nurse is conciliatory, there's sort of a "well that's a great first step" thing happening along with advice to be sure and be more kind, patient, calm, generous, nurturing, understanding with the big cherry on top "remember what it was like when you were a student/new grad". I remember it vividly. We sort of adhered to that old-fashioned ritual known as when you are new you should listen more than you should talk. Also, it's always a terrible idea to turn a nurse in for some infraction you observe while you are being oriented by him or her without telling her about it first, and that goes triple if you say "she's really nice to me, but. . ." or "she seems to be great with the patients. . .but" or the worst of all "she's been there for 39 years but. . ." Pretty sure I'll catch more flamage than Ruby! Possibly someone will reprimand me for the "geezer" reference.

Great post and 100% true, but I think the best part about it is the names of the characters. Gertrude and Elmer, lol! I pictured the little old couple in that famous picture with the pitchforks, except they were in scrubs.

Excellent article Ruby!I've been on the lookout for the "eating the young" phenomenon ever since I started school. I would say that in general I see the same number of bullies and gossips and just plain mean people in the hospital setting as I have seen in every other job or workplace I've even been in. One of the joys of nursing school has been that it has taught me to keep an open mind, not take patients or co-workers (or anybody's really!) attitudes or behaviors personally, and to apply the nursing process when I see a problem. When I apply the nursing process to a clinical personnel situation or apply it to myself when I find myself feeling resentful, put down, or angry, it is simply amazing how much I can grow and change and let things go!I've certainly seen bully nurses on the floors I've rotated on, both men and women. I steer clear, kill them with kindness, and don't take it personally or give it any energy.I recently had my rotation through the ED. The nurse I shadowed had been working in that ED for 25 years! She was totally awesome, totally strict and yet completely fluid in her technique. By 4pm we were at code scarlet (overloaded w. pts cramming every hallway) I watched her handle difficult cranky patients and difficult cranky PAs and MDs, and when she had to step in as charge I watched her report off on 12 patients to a cranky difficult nurse. She wasn't nasty back, she just did what needed to be done, gave me the occasional wink, and moved on. A real role model.I think I haven't been "eaten" yet as a student because I am respectful to all the RNs on the floors during my rotations, and to the CNAs. I try to be sensitive - stay out of the way when that seems obvious, and offer to help when the nurse seems overwhelmed and I know there is something within my student scope that I can do to help. Even with defensive nurses who I can tell are wary of students I've found that offering to answer a call bell, or asking if I can grab something for them when I see them poke their head out of a room in an isolation gown and obviously need something etc., goes a long way to not being their next snack! Simple manners and respect, which appear to have deteriorated in our culture, are the key to getting off on the right foot and not being a target.I can see which students I am traveling with who will some day be the bullies on a unit - because they are arrogant or rude or insecure even in nursing school. I can only hope that the endless Psych lectures and endless application of the nursing process will somehow open their eyes/mind and they will have a change and truly be the nurse they seem to think no one else is except them!I loved this article Ruby because through honest self-reflection and changing our own behavior, and by finding the courage to speak up respectfully to people who are contributing to an unacceptable work culture we can effect real change and grow in our humanity.

Great post!

Discriminated against at ---- HOSPITAL.I really hope someone talks about BOSS BULLYING on the job. It doesn't matter what color we are. Pain is pain, it comes in all colors. There's no law against it and a lot of our human rights are being violated. Getting up early just to face... another day of this is horrifying. It's very sad that children have to face bullying at school and adults have to face bullying at work. Please, can someone start a topic at a TV station on this. I want to bring my story public. I know it will help a lot of people.Boss Bullying

AMEN Sister!!

Good post, Ruby. Bullying does exist among nurses, the trick is not to mistake differences in opinion for it or constructive criticism. I am among those that still think you need to confront these fools and lay down the law- after all, that's what usually takes care of a bully, because they're cowards. At the end of the day, everyone deserves basic human respect and dignity whether you're a new grad or someone who has been in the field for 40 years.