New Grad Terrors

I graduated nursing school last May and was lucky enough to get my first job. I started August 1st so I have been at it for a little over 3 months. I got off orientation 2 weeks ago so am now on my own with no preceptor. I am having terrible anxiety. When I walk into work I feel like throwing up. I pray like crazy before every shift. I cry before, during (in the bathroom), and after work sometimes. When I try to sleep my eyes will shoot open and I'll wake up in a panic thinking I missed something. I have nightmares about my patient's CBGs being all messed up. I wake up wondering if I missed something. I'm beginning to think I'm crazy and need to be on meds or something. Today I started to think that what I thought was my calling to be a nurse is wrong. I love people, I love serving, I love working 3 days a week, I love that someday when I have a family I'll be able to be home with my kids a lot, I love holding a person's hand when they are scared and need someone to just listen. I just want to help my patients. I've already had 1 incident report written on me in my second week off orientation for my patient not being cleared out enough before her colonoscopy and they couldn't do it. I felt so awful. I tried so hard that night. It was me and my charge nurse with 12 patients and it was all I could do to make it through the night. I'm just terrified to even go into work. I feel like I have such a scary power in my hands dealing with people's lives. I graduated high school as the valedictorian, worked my way through college, volunteered, and finished college with over a 3.9 GPA. I have never given up on anything, but this whole thing is a lot different than going to school. I can do school.... this I'm not so sure about anymore.

Anyone else feel this way as a new grad?
Anxiety tends to be part of the job, but it will settle down after you find your rhythm. Give yourself some time. Don't shoot the horse before the leg is broken!Tait

You are not alone. I graduated last May. I hated my job for about the first 4 months. I don't hate my job anymore, but I do know med/surg is not my niche. Keep your head up. Every week seems to get better than the week before. I still have questions, but I also see experienced nurses asking other nurses for advice in certain situations too. I felt like I made a huge mistake going into nursing, but now I'm starting to enjoy it a little more. Just trying to figure out which direction to head in now. Just know that it will get better okay.

Give it time. And, IMHO, the incident report about not getting someone cleaned out is crap!

I wish there was some way to let all nursing students know that what you are feeling is typical of a large number of new grads. Nursing is hard work on every level, but the emotional strain of a new job is incredible. We are expected to be perfect in an imperfect world, and made to feel bad about some things we have little control over.Were you aware that your patient was not sufficiently cleansed? How might you have confirmed it? Taking the patient's word is not good enough!! But a write-up is a bit much.You will come through this.Best wishes!

if you had them take all the prep, not much else you can do. You have to watch for the clear poop though. a incident report is a bit excessive IMHO.1. Breathe. good. Breathe again. good.2. it's ok. You'll feel like crap for about a year. then, you'll start remembering those little things that you used to forget.3. Nobody's perfect. Those other shift nurses? they make mistakes too. 4. It's normal to feel anxious and worried you missed something. some nights, they best you can do is make sure everyone's breathing. 5. I make it a habit to check my charts at least once every 2 hours. Usually between med passes. I also check orders and check the previous shift right after I chart my first assessment on the patient. do everything at once. I also try to write out my report for the next shift after I'm done charting, adding to it if anything changes. It makes the report easier.6. Try to write down anything in addition to meds that you need to do when you're in a room. Do tasks together in a way that makes sense to YOU. 7. even if I think I'm going to have a bad night, I just tell myself "I can do ANYTHING for 12 hours!" and I do.8. Breathe. Good. Breathe again. Great.9. Repeat. 10. Sleep.

HAHA literally

Seriously though m8, what you are encountering is inadequate staffing. Unions are the answer to this dilemma. Also legislation mandating that hospitals must be not for profit entities....

Things will get better, and you will be just fine!!!!!

I'm having the same anxiety. I also graduated this past May and i'm on my 3rd week of orientation. Everyone tells me it will get better.. I sure hope so! You're not alone! I thought I was until I read your thread.

Everyone except those with delusions (dangerous) of grandeur feel that way as a new grad.........hang in there and time will resolve this.

You're not alone. Some people don't thrive in a hospital setting, although since you haven't been there very long, I'd hang in there. I, too, did school very well (4.0 GPA). The floor was a lot tougher. I did FT for a year, PT for 2 years and prn for a year, before I finally realized I was never going to like going to work in the hospital (it did get easier the more experience I had, but I still dreaded going). I took a job in HH as a foot care nurse and absolutely loved it. You will find a niche that works for you )

I understand what u r going through, after two years of nursing, I still get nervous. I go to sleep thinking and wondering if I missed anything and wake up thinking of the things I missed not documenting.... that's only on critical patients. Otherwise, I sleep tight and cozy....anxiety should mellow down....yes, I've lost hair due to this anxiety but growing some more. ..BTW, getting ny hair do tomorrow