Interest in Nursing is wavering

Hoping to get some advice or direction from some more experienced nurses. I worked for about 8 years to get my nursing degree going part time and full time to school. I accrued a lot of school loans and sacrificed a lot of time away from family and loved ones as everyone pursuing a nursing degree does. I graduated in May 2012 and finally found a job at a SNF working on their rehabilitation floor. I worked there for 4 months then landed a full time job on a Neuro Acute Care floor in a fantastic hospital. I have been there 2 months. They offered 6 weeks of orientation with neuroscience classes, ECG classes, ventilator classes, and preceptorship for the first 6 weeks. All of this sounded wonderful when I hired on. Now that I am on my own, I feel like I'm drowning. The nurse/patient ratio is 5:1 days and 6:1 nights, which would be ok except neuro patients seem like they are so much more time consuming than non neuro patients, and I can have shifts where all of my patients discharge and I get all new admits. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm new and not to be so hard on myself, but I am terrified that I am just not getting it and that I'm making stupid mistakes. I feel like a lot of the nurses I work with have to pick up my "slack". I work with some really good people who are very willing to help, but I wonder how long should I be relying on their help? I dread going to work and I am constantly feeling guilty about having to leave my 18 month old with someone other than me. My husband works full time and is in graduate school so I rarely see him as well. I guess I was just wanting to know how to change my attitude so that I do feel satisfied at work and like all of this time, money and sacrifice was for not for nothing.
The first year or two are the roughest as you get your feet under you. You spent a lot of time and energy getting through school, sounds like your facility is pretty top notch, and you have support there from the staff. I would give it time. I have a 22 month old and a new babe due in a week. I will be going back to work in 6-8 months and I know I will have to put Emma (22 months) in school by probably August. While I will miss her, I also try to remind myself that she is a person too, who needs to learn to be autonomous. By being in a great daycare/school she will have more opportunities to cultivate personal relationships, emotional control, and learning skills. While work/life balances are hard, your children grow by watching you strive, succeed, and love them. My husband is in graduate school as well and working full time, and while I do see him now, I know if I was working the floor like before I wouldn't. However, most situations are temporary. Get some experience, look at your options in the future, and try to enjoy reaping the benefits from all your hard work in school!Best of luck,Tait

Also as nurses we understand newbies need help. Just try to show that you are thinking about all your situations before you ask about them, and don't be afraid to ask for help and the occasional progress review from the ones you work with the most. I used to ask every few months if there was anything I could change or improve. It shows you respect the staff you are working with, and allows for timely feedback

I seem to recall things settling in for me at about four months. For most of that time, I felt like I was always running around crazy and I almost never left on time. By four months, though, things just seemed to get better. I can't say exactly why, I can't say I felt more competent, but I just started having more time on the shift and started leaving on time pretty much all the time. I can only chalk that up to more experience. I did also change my practice to focus more on charting up front. That was hard. I felt terrible doing any charting when I knew there were all of these tasks sitting in front of me. But by even popping in parts of my assessments when I passed pm meds, that made it go a whole lot faster when I finished up charting later. I can't say why. The amount of work was the same and the total amount of charting was the same, but I saved a lot of time if I just sucked it up and charted my assessments early on. Try some things out, you will find what works for you!

Sounds to me like your ratios are certainly reasonable.Make use of bed alarms, posie beds if your facility allows them and anyother means that will make you feel like you do not have to hover of the pt.........It seems to me though like you are experiencing what we all experience....Learning your routine and ddeveloping your time management skills....That being said, some shifts will just be INSANE. Just the other day I did not leave my 7a to 7p shift until 2230........absolutely zero charting was done during my shift ........sigh........

I would bet that many of your colleagues feel the same way. The whole 'experience' thing has another effect - besides improving your clinical skills; it also changes the way you interpret things. Even though I hate to use trite phrases, eventually the pace and 'chaos' become easier to deal with - your "new normal". Don't beat yourself up, you're just as good (Mommy and nurse) as they are.