Nursing 3-11 and marriage

Started a LTC 3-11 charge shift a few months ago. It is wreaking havoc on my marriage! Hubby leaves at 6 AM, I leave for work at 2PM. He gets home at 6PM, and in bed by 11. I get home at 12 and bed by 1AM. We talk on the phone, and try to have fun every other weekend, but it's not enough! How do any of you in a similar situation survive different schedules? Not to mention, I only see my teenage son occasionally now as well. I'm sad about this. Love my job and the shift is good for me personally, I love sleeping late, but it's bad for me physically as well. My eating is all off schedule, and when do I exercise? Everything's just so disorganized right now...any ideas? We need help!
3-11 is a hard crappy shift for families!It worked really well for me, but I only lived a block away from the hospital and my husband could bring our daughter over for supper with me every time I worked.I'm sorry I don't really have any advice--but I am thinking of you.

Personally I love 4-12 because I can sleep in, run errands if needed before work, its not so late that I can't get up early if I have to and I love the shift diff. In fact working opposite shifts from my DH is probably the reason we are still married after all these years, lol. Try to make the best of it and enjoy the positives until you can find another shift.

I found that it was hard on marriage when I worked evenings full time but it was perfectly OK when I only worked 20 hours a week. I found working weekends and holidays to be more difficult than evening shift(when I was part time). I have noticed that some new marriages(doesn't mean everyone) really have a bad time with full time 3-11 but I think I noticed more established marriage can handle it better(once again a trend not a sure thing).

My wife and I were in a similar situation once. I worked 12-hour days, she 12-hour nights (the employer wouldn't let us work the same shift because I was an RN and she an LPN - a chain of command issue). The employer graciously agreed to synchronize our work days and days off, which helped a bit. We used to joke about stealing a little quality time by the med cart.

As some one said not great if you are working full time but I switched to evenings when I had kids but I only worked half time. My teens would have had a hard time having me gone so much, they might not admit it but they would. I was the one that would shuffle them off to the library or to Walmart to pick up stuff for a school project etc. Maybe if I worked full time my husband would have taken on more of that load. How about meeting your hubby for lunch once a week?

I wish I had words of wisdom - been there done that.Long ago - when I was experiencing the same sort of problems - a (male) house supervisor told me not to worry because 3-11 nurses make the best wives... + Cheap to dress -- always wearing either in pajamas or scrubs+ Easyto entertain -- schedule doesn't allow for anything fancy+ and the best of all -- always available to run errands or take the car in for maintenanceLOL - my hubby used to just nap on the couch until I got home so we had the same bedtime.

i think you need to do what is best for your family/marriage. your family is the most important thing in the world and if it means getting another job, with better hours, then i would start looking for another job. you will be so much happier if your marriage is working out. good luck to you,praiser

I didn't read what everyone else said....it sounds like a no brainer...this isn't working out...not only is it hard on your marriage...your kid needs you in the evening...more so as a teenager than they did as babies...in my opinion...you are putting a lot on the line so you can sleep in

I sometimes work 3-11, and it's been good since it gives my better half quality time with our son that he might not normally get. Then again, we're military so we're used to long seperations, wacky schedules and making the most of what scraps of time together that we do get. I love 3-11, but I won't work it full-time until he retires (then we'd get more time together before I leave for work), so I also work days.But that lifestyle doesn't work for everyone...so if it's causing problems in your marriage, then perhaps you should either cut back to part-time or find a job with better hours. Either that or find your husband a 3-11 job so his schedule syncs with yours Best of luck!

consider going part time or ask to switch to nights or mornings.Other than that I really dont see any other solution to fixing your problem.

Quote from Jules APersonally I love 4-12 because I can sleep in, run errands if needed before work, its not so late that I can't get up early if I have to and I love the shift diff. In fact working opposite shifts from my DH is probably the reason we are still married after all these years, lol. Try to make the best of it and enjoy the positives until you can find another shift.

You and I are in the same boat. Hubby gets up at 6 am to leave for work, I sleep in until 10 am, leave for work at 230pm, come home at 1100ish. We only spend two hours together when i work. Thankfully, he stays up with me until 1 or 2 am. We just try to make the best of our days off together.