experience –
I feel stupidRating: (votes: 0) Wow, take it easy.It's bad but not that bad. All these abuses on yourself? How do you expect to even get better. I understand the one of knocking yourself on the head when you wrong, but lady, you're not knocking anymore- you're just plain hitting your head now.PS- I'm not diagnosing nor labeling but I think you need to sit down with someone you trust and can confide in. Someone who will be non-judgmental but give you a serious well thought out advice. And you said you're the only one working?Then perhaps, you might want to consider having your husband maybe helping with getting the kids up, if he's not already, that is. Comment:
I don't even know what to say,on one hand I want to sympathize on the other hand I am concerned for the residents/patients and your co-workers..perhaps some of our other more qualified readers can offer some advice but it does sound like you have some serious issues going on..I would try to address them and soon!
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Get more sleep.It's /essential/. I can tell that's something that's throwing you off. See if you can change shifts, anything - you need to try to get 8 hours of sleep a night. That will help substantially - you can't work well if you're chronically sleep-deprived, like you sound like you are.Also...I recommend finding someone to talk to. Even if they're not a "professional", it still helps so much to have someone that will listen.Everyone makes mistakes. Please stop beating yourself down - it's not helping the situation either. Get more sleep, eat healthy, try to exercise a bit a day. I've heard it helps. :heartbeatBest of luck to you.
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You are breaking my heart. Take a few breaths. You are not stupid. Please stop referring to yourself in such a negative way. Do not refer to yourself that way in front of others, and stop the internal negative self talk. Everyone makes mistakes. You are tired and stressed. If you are the only one working in your household right now, then WHY are you the one waking up at 5 or 6 am to get the kids ready for school??? You should see a therapist or counselor to work out your low self-esteem issues. This isn't something you can lick on your own--you need someone else in your corner. I wish you the best.
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You are exhausted and sleep deprived. I have been an rn for 14 yrs, but when I haven't had enough sleep, i'll get on the freeway headed south instead of north, transpose numbers, etc.......... When i'm super, super tired, I do the negative self talk also. when I get like that, I just have to pull off the road, find a dunkin donuts or starbucks, and just sit in the restroom for 5 minute ((quiet 5 minutes)) and ask God for strength and clarity. God be with you dear one. Linda
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i have chronic lyme diease and it does take a toll on you.. mentally and physically... i drive myself crazy somedays and i had to really say " the heck with it" i do my best and have faith things are not as bad as they seem... i have had chronic lyme disease for many many years and some days are better than others... just keep in mind " that you are only human and what others think is not important... just do the best you can and leave the rest to God
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You're not stupid - YOU'RE NOT STUPID - YOU'RE TIRED, you're stressed, but you're definitely not stupid. And I don't think you have psychiatric issues or anything else that needs "addressing" other than whoever's at home with you needs to get their behinds out of bed and HELP YOU OUT if they're physically able.And as for the coffeepot thing, I'm pretty smart, and we have a coffeepot at my house that mystifies me to the point I still use my own little four cup one in the morning - so don't let that rattle you. The QID/QD thing sounds like exhaustion to me - an error, yes, and that should be addressed, but rest assured none of us is perfect - and as for the Coumadin thing, we ALL have moments like that (the other day I walked around for ten minutes looking for my pen, and one of our CNAs said, 'hey, LT, it's clipped inside your shirt'. Did I feel stupid - YES. Am I - NO. Did I look a bit silly and give the airmen a bit of a giggle? Of course.). You are stressed and you need some help around the house. You're not crazy and you're not stupid. Slow down. Take a breath. If you're worried about writing orders, there's no shame in handing them to someone else to double check for you (I've done that a thousand times myself). But above all go a bit easier on yourself.
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Sometimes it's hard to know where to draw the line - if you find that you are making a lot of clinical errors, maybe you should reconsider your job role. Why did you leave your last job? Something that gives you a little more flexibility and a more casual pace would probably help a lot! As the other posters said, it doesn't sound like you're stupid, just that you're tired - and if you've got CLD, no wonder! Know your limitations, but don't beat yourself up about them...Best of luck to you...
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You need medical care and you need to consider doing some type of work that has less potential for you to hurt someone else or get hurt yourself. You might want to at least look into going on disability. I wish you all the best.
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You need to have more help at home and you need to find someone to talk to (a professional). You are not stupid so you need to stop that talk right away. It does not help you in any way and will not help you get any farther. Take more time for you and let the people around you know what you need. See you pcp and let him/her know what is going on. You are breaking my heart and you really don't deserve to suffer like this.
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First, I think you need to back off on calling yourself stupid. It doesn't appear that anyone else thinks you're stupid. Do you not trust them? You're being harder on yourself than you need to. Calling yourself stupid isn't going to change your self-esteem for the better. So just stop it. Second, I think you need to talk with a psychologist who can help you. Having a chronic health issue takes its toll on you. My DH has severe, disabling lung disease. He has a lot of the same symptoms you have. He struggles with feelings of inferiority due to not working. At my urging he sought out some assistance. About 6 months with a therapist, plus medication for depression and anxiety have fixed him right up. Third, consider a less stressful line of work. I know you have to work, but you don't have to work there. I think home health would probably be a better fit for you. I imagine you *can* concentrate on one patient at a time. You have experience with chronically ill seniors. Why aren't you doing private duty? There are many ways to be a nurse. I suffered a complete mental breakdown a year ago and was unable to concentrate or work as a nurse for 12 months. I just started back, working as a school nurse in a small elementary school. It's very routine work. I still struggle with short-term memory loss so I have to write EVERYTHING down. Otherwise,in less than 2 minutes the information is gone. But I know better than even try to go back to my old job--NICU. I'm sure I would be as diligent as I could be, but I know I would never be able to keep up. No shame in knowing your limitations. Now stop crying about everything you're not and start celebrating everything you are. Nobody is all bad and that includes you. Today I want you to write a list of everything that is right with you. No cons allowed. Even if you have to write "I have two feet that work" and "I got up and fixed breakfast this morning" or "My eyes are a pretty shade of brown." Do it. And keep adding to it every day. In rehab terms, this is called a Gratitude List and it works. I promise.
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I agree with a PP about going into home care because it is a lot less stressful. I am an aide and had to quit my job as an aide in skilled nursing, because I was so forgetful. I have also worked in home health care in the past and it was so much easier. Plus I had energy when I got home to spend time with my family. I know as an aide I do not have the responsibility that you do, but I think home health care would be a good switch for you. You can also pick and choose what hours you are going to work in home health care as well. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best.
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