Can we get rid of the sugar in nursing?

66 I'm sure I'll get burned for this, but today I attended a graduate panel for my former nursing program. The students got to ask us questions about pay scale, what we enjoy about nursing, and how to find jobs... etc. Well all my fellow nurses went on and on about how you touch people's lives, and you become a part of their families. They love all their patients, and *tears flowing* we're just so honored to be like Florence Nightingale. They told stories about sitting around with their patients telling stories about grandkids, and exchanging pictures. The usual cliches; a patient doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. I feel like an outcast because I don't treat each patient like I'm their sweet old granny.

Seriously the way they describe nursing is like a wal-mart greeter in scrubs. Don't get me wrong I have people tell me I'm a great nurse, and a great person. I sit with little old ladies and hold their hands when needed. But can we get the sugar out of nursing? Can we stop calling everybody sweetie, and saying how cute they are? I'm a professional, if you have pain I'll get you a pill, I'll call the doctor, or I'll try my best to fix it, but I won't kiss your boo boo. If you need to be changed, I will change you. If you're scared, then we'll discuss whatever issue you may have. I run my rear off everyday providing care for my patients but never have I treated them like my puppy. Furthermore I don't see doctors acting like Pre-K teachers with patients. Honestly as a patient I don't care how sweet and loving you are, if I'm having a massive heart attack do you know ACLS?
um, I think I just threw up in my mouth! Seriously, I hear what you're saying. There are those times that call for extra TLC, as well as times for having to be firm & setting limits w/manipulative/abusive patients- - life is not all pink clouds & cotton candy! The best nurses treat patients based on individual needs- & I have seen nurses treat all patients like a puppy- gag.

Wow... I agree. I realize that saying this as a nursing student this is blasphemy! I am an engineer with 20 years of experience, who is changing careers. I consider nurses to be educated, professionals who work in a scientific field. Yes, it is important to have a good bedside manner, but that doesn't mean that one must only choose this career path because of an emotional calling!Thanks for your post!

I agree with both previous posts. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to restrain yourself during the pink cotton candy and yellow roses panel.

Im behind ya 100%!

Wow! I second this blog. At my job you’re looked at as your a poor nurse if you don’t continuously give all this sugar out constantly. It’s mentally exhausting to even attempt. I didn’t go to school for years to talk to a patient like a 1 year old.

I don't know. I certainly don't treat every pt like they are my family but i do care, i do inquire about the whole family. I talked with a pt's spouse yesterday after they died for an hour on and off about his plans for the future, their past ect.. I will admit I was going to cry and had to leave the room when he started telling her goodbye after i pronounced the pt dead. but im also a professional and love the constant challenge of syt mgt. but when people leave our care they do say they felt loved and cared for by us. I take great pride in that in the fact that we don't just treat the medical dx but the whole person. I also had another pt die last night too , (im a hospice nurse ) and spent a lot of time for them. A lot more family dynamics than i felt equipped to deal with so i had a chaplain come in ...some nurses probably aren't cut out for it but nurturing and gasp...even hugging are a part of my job. Its not always in my comfort zone but i love the holistic care i give to pts.. I do do a lot of medical and symptom management but SOOOO much of my job is the 'sugar' that drives you insane.

Did you all not get enough hugs as kids? Nursing can be all science, if you want to be a nursebot. You could also be a auto mechanic, computer programmer, or plumber and get the same satisfaction. YOU chose a field dealing with living breathing people in need, maybe dying. It takes a village! If you think the art side of nursing is too sticky sweet for you, don't fool yourself into thinking you're giving your patients what they need. You're cheating them and yourself by trying to be the quintessential Mr Spock. After you're done flaming me, get a wrench and screwdriver and go do patient "care."

I am in complete agreement. I have to confess, though, that on rare occasions I will tell the oncoming nurse how cute or delightful a pt is - sometimes you just get to care for some really special people, and it's such a rare treat it deserves mention in report. Caring about your pts doesn't mean you have to be syrupy sweet. Holistic care or art of nursing means meeting psychological and social needs in addition to medical needs. It means listening to, and hearing your pts, not treating them like a 2-year-old. It does not mean baby talk, pet names, or knowing all the grandkids' names and birthdays of every pt. You can discuss emotional/social/psychological issues on an adult level. And nursing ain't always hearts and flowers, either. I love my job with all my heart, because I do get to care for pts and help their families through a scary time, but it can be trying at times too. Also, I would venture to say that acute care settings are different from LTC settings. I'm acute care, and I don't want to develop the type of relationship in which I know all the kids'/grandkids' names, etc. If I have time for that, my pt is not progressing, and that is a bad thing from my point of view. I wanna fix 'em and get 'em out of my unit so I can get somebody who's "sick" (so I can fix them too)! That doesn't mean, however, that I don't ask pts about their families. It's a great conversation starter, and it helps build a rapport. It also helps me get an idea of what sort of support the pt has at home. If I worked LTC, I would more than likely end up having a lot closer personal relationships with the residents.

Quote from dthfytrDid you all not get enough hugs as kids? Nursing can be all science, if you want to be a nursebot. You could also be a auto mechanic, computer programmer, or plumber and get the same satisfaction. YOU chose a field dealing with living breathing people in need, maybe dying. It takes a village! If you think the art side of nursing is too sticky sweet for you, don't fool yourself into thinking you're giving your patients what they need. You're cheating them and yourself by trying to be the quintessential Mr Spock. After you're done flaming me, get a wrench and screwdriver and go do patient "care."

Quote from catshowladyI am in complete agreement. I have to confess, though, that on rare occasions I will tell the oncoming nurse how cute or delightful a pt is - sometimes you just get to care for some really special people, and it's such a rare treat it deserves mention in report. And, to evolvingRN, caring about your pts doesn't mean you have to be syrupy sweet. Holistic care does not mean baby talk, pet names, or knowing all the grandkids' names and birthdays. You can discuss emotional/social/psychological issues on an adult level. Also, I would venture to say that acute care settings are different from LTC settings. I'm acute care, and I don't want to develop the type of relationship in which I know all the kids'/grandkids' names, etc. If I have time for that, my pt is not progressing, and that is a bad thing from my point of view. I wanna fix 'em and get 'em out of my unit so I can get somebody who's "sick"! That doesn't mean, however, that I don't ask pts about their families. It's a great conversation starter, and helps me get an idea of what sort of support the pt has at home. If I worked LTC, I would more than likely end up having a lot closer personal relationships with the residents.

There's a fine line between compassionate, professional patient care vs enabling & treating patients in an infantile way. (Hospice care is a little different, & way out of my area of expertise- I'm talking about acute care.)

a patient doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care