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Dealing with moody peopleRating: (votes: 0) I would address it, if it were me. Why should you just sit passively by and take it? Maybe she doesn't even realize how bad her behavior really is if no one has ever talked to her about it. Even if she does hold a grudge against you for talking to her about it, sounds like you won't have to deal with her anyway.I'd even take it one step further, and if things didn't improve after talking to her, I would request a new preceptor.As a new grad, the quality of your preceptor is more important than I can even say. Comment:
I agree with speaking to her privately, but don't let yourself get sucked into talking with others about her moodiness. Maybe part of her mood is exacerbated by knowing her colleagues are talking about her behind her back. (Not that that would make it right, but it's a good idea not to get caught in that trap.)
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Quote from ERNurse752I would address it, if it were me. Why should you just sit passively by and take it? Maybe she doesn't even realize how bad her behavior really is if no one has ever talked to her about it. Even if she does hold a grudge against you for talking to her about it, sounds like you won't have to deal with her anyway.I'd even take it one step further, and if things didn't improve after talking to her, I would request a new preceptor.As a new grad, the quality of your preceptor is more important than I can even say.
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From experience I think I might want a witness to a discussion with her. She's already run you off her shift. It's possible she could have run you off for good.Do you want future new nurses to be subject to this behaviour? I think I would have the CNS or the NM apprised of the situation and possibly be the witness. I definitely would request a different preceptor.
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Hey,I could have wrote your post. I remember when I was in orientation, I've been a nurse for about 11 months, and I had to deal with strong personality types. It use to bother me so much and I couldn't understand why people had to be that way. I guess it bothered me a lot more than others because I strive to be respectful and understanding of people and it seems like that personality type is opposite of mine. The only way I was able to deal with it was to say that no matter where I go I am going to have to deal with different personality types. I learned who I could turn to for support and to the others, I just keep it professional and that has worked for me.
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Quote from P_RNFrom experience I think I might want a witness to a discussion with her. She's already run you off her shift. It's possible she could have run you off for good.Do you want future new nurses to be subject to this behaviour? I think I would have the CNS or the NM apprised of the situation and possibly be the witness. I definitely would request a different preceptor.
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I disagree with confronting this person. Why start trouble? Because that is what you have been warned would happen. As a new employee it will not look good for you either if trouble ensues from a confrontation. Try to find some appreciation within yourself for her time and knowledge in orienting you although it may not be of the greatest quality. Maybe it's hard to see it, but she is giving of herself to help you. It's hard to win over a curmudgeon. She's hurting herself more than anyone else in the long run and losing out on friendships she could be having with other employees that would make her work more enjoyable. Some people just enjoy wallowing in negativity and she sounds like one of them. I would make it a point to thank her for orienting you in front of the whole crowd of your co-workers on your last day working with her. I think it will make her day. I doubt she hears many positive comments from others.
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I would prefer someone tell me if they think I am moody or whatever. Maybe she is burnt out and needs someone to talk to who cares. I would also prefer someone talk to me about it before going over my head to the big boss about it. (If I were this nurse)
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There comes a point when enough is enough. It's already stressful for you and when the person who is supposed to be training you has bad bevavior, it makes everything worse. Had you not been changing shifts, I would suggest getting a new preceptor. Thank goodness you won't be with her anymore. Just put up with it until you're gone. If you're really bothered by it, meaning, you can't focus on your patients, then talk to her in private about whatever is bothering you.There's no excuse to have to put up abuse. Good luck.
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I think the OP titled this thread correctly--dealing with moody people. It really doesn't sound like this preceptor was all that mean. I read through it carefully again. She says she was bossy, mumbles, tosses stuff around (for effect?), and irritated. That doesn't sound abusive to me. It's trying on you when this kind of behavior is going on all shift long because it is very negative in attitude and this tends to make others around them feel bummed out as well, but the OP doesn't mention that this preceptor was accusing her or yelling at her or correcting her in front of everyone else. She sounds to me to be pure and simply a curmudgeon who is cross and cantankerous and is probably embarrssing to be around. Mostly people would just like her to go away. But, she is doing her job, is she not? These kind of people are their own worse enemies. There are times when you just have to tolerate others because we have no authority to make them change their behavior. You could try with this particular lady, but I doubt it will do any good--this is a life long behavior and is most likely permitted because she isn't directly attacking anyone and she is doing her job. Sometimes we just have to develop a thick skin when dealing with people. Moodiness is not the same as being abusive.I have a sister who acts very much the way this perceptor does. She's not a mean person, she is just very, very negative. And, if I tell her that she is talking in a nasty, snotty tone she is shocked and her comeback is almost always, "no, I'm not" in the same nasty tone. What can you do about that? I can't correct that, I just tolerate it and realize that this is her way and that in her world she is not being mean. She's been at her same job for 15 years and I sometimes wonder what people think of her at work because I'm sure she has a snotty tone, mumbles, and tosses things around to demonstrate her irritation. But, then again, she's always irritated!
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[QUOTE=Daytonite]I think the OP titled this thread correctly--dealing with moody people. It really doesn't sound like this preceptor was all that mean. I read through it carefully again. She says she was bossy, mumbles, tosses stuff around (for effect?), and irritated. That doesn't sound abusive to me. It's trying on you when this kind of behavior is going on all shift long because it is very negative in attitude and this tends to make others around them feel bummed out as well, but the OP doesn't mention that this preceptor was accusing her or yelling at her or correcting her in front of everyone else. She sounds to me to be pure and simply a curmudgeon who is cross and cantankerous and is probably embarrssing to be around. Mostly people would just like her to go away. But, she is doing her job, is she not? These kind of people are their own worse enemies. There are times when you just have to tolerate others because we have no authority to make them change their behavior. You could try with this particular lady, but I doubt it will do any good--this is a life long behavior and is most likely permitted because she isn't directly attacking anyone and she is doing her job. Sometimes we just have to develop a thick skin when dealing with people. Moodiness is not the same as being abusive.I have a sister who acts very much the way this perceptor does. She's not a mean person, she is just very, very negative. And, if I tell her that she is talking in a nasty, snotty tone she is shocked and her comeback is almost always, "no, I'm not" in the same nasty tone. What can you do about that? I can't correct that, I just tolerate it and realize that this is her way and that in her world she is not being mean. She's been at her same job for 15 years and I sometimes wonder what people think of her at work because I'm sure she has a snotty tone, mumbles, and tosses things around to demonstrate her irritation. But, then again, she's always irritated![/QUOTE.
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Is she like this all the time or just when PMS time swings around? Just wondering cause I can be a real grumperoo the last two weeks of my cycle. Gotta love those hormones!!
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